


Believe it or not

by P_Dunton



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cunnilingus, Drug Use, F/M, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mind the Tags, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Overdosing, Past Child Abuse, Sex, Soulmates, Suicide Attempt, Tags to be edited, Vaginal Sex, Virginity, description of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-13 14:21:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20583926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/P_Dunton/pseuds/P_Dunton
Summary: Everyone can see their soulmates when they sleep.Except for Rey Niima. When she closes her eyes, there’s never anyone there. Most say this happens when the other soul partner doesn’t sleep. After years and years of this, Rey has given up on ever finding her other half.Ben Solo is an angry, bitter shell of a man. He tries to stay awake as long as he can, using whatever means possible to avoid dreams. Because his soulmate is dead.But when her exact likeness shows up one day in the form of his mother’s new personal assistant, he can’t help but be infatuated, even though he knows she isn’t the one.Or is she?





	1. You can go hang

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt I got from my dream... Believe it or not... 
> 
> Here you go, my dream-prompter...
> 
> All Universe is reylo...
> 
> I thank my darling beta [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/works) for her help and support! Thank you, darling!

** **

**Chapter 1.**

**You can go hang.**

They said you just needed to look more carefully when you slept. They said that once you turned sixteen, you needed to sleep better at night and leave obvious hints in your bedroom to let your soulmate know where to find you. They said that you had to sleep together, at the same time, to start seeing each other. That's why those who didn't see their soulmates after they turned sixteen started to sleep during the day from time to time to see if their soulmate lived on the other side of the world.

Soulmate hours were the hours during the day when people could sleep. Lots of people found their soulmates, sleeping at work.

They said that if your soulmate was somehow older than you, then they would see you earlier and find you...

_Oh, find you earlier my ass!_

Rey growled, waking up to the sound of her alarm clock, and almost smashed her poor phone. She had to stop herself. Rey had already thrown her phone at the wall once, so the glass was cracked. She couldn't afford another one, so she had to stop herself.

She had dreamt of unicorns. Fucking unicorns! There were thousands of flying horses all over the place all over again! She had started seeing those stupid colorful dreams when she turned eighteen. She had tried to see her soulmate every night, but instead of that, she was met by a herd of colorful animals... 

_Maybe my soulmate is a unicorn, after all_, Rey smirked, walking to the bathroom.

She had visited a doctor once, but the man only told her that things like that happened when another part of a soulmate couple experienced a sleeping disorder. It was Rey's coping mechanism of a sort because her potential soulmate had trouble sleeping...

Rey smirked unkindly.

Who knows, her soulmate might have never slept at all.

Because she had never seen him.

***

When she turned sixteen, Rey had spent almost the whole year in bed. She had nearly lost her scholarship but realized that her soulmate might have been younger, so she stopped sleeping so much during the day and started to study.

Now, after ten years of not seeing anything that would resemble a soulmate dream, she had lost hope.

Maybe, he was dead, after all... But they said that when your soulmate died, you always felt it... It was a hard thing to cope with, they said, but Rey had never experienced anything like that.

Once, only once she had seen a dream that _could be_ a soulmate dream. There were people in a dark room there, and they were all blurry. There was a small table and a lot of bodies around it. There were plenty of women there, too. And there was some strange white powder on the small table.

Rey only remembered the women's bodies. Was her soulmate a woman? It was possible in their world, but Rey had always been straight. That dream made no sense.

Rey shook her head and turned on the coffee machine. Today was her first day at Skywalker Tech Inc. She had a lot of important things to think about now.

"You know, you can go hang!" she murmured to no one in particular, knowing that her soulmate wouldn't hear her.

***

An Asian girl met her at the receptionist desk in the hall of a giant building made of glass.

Skywalker Tech Inc. was the most successful Engineering company in the country, and Rey had spent years trying to get a position here. She wanted to be an Engineer. She had gotten her degree, after all. But they said that you couldn't get into the corporation without connections, so Rey had to accept a position as a PA here. It wasn't that bad, actually. Leia Organa-Solo needed a PA, and Mrs. Organa was the CEO of the company. Rey hoped that she would be able to change positions if Leia was satisfied with her.

"Hey there!" the receptionist greeted Rey. "How can I help you?"

"Today's my first day," Rey smiled insecurely. "My name's Rey Niima."

"Oh, of course!" the girl beamed. "Mrs. Organa-Solo is waiting for you. Follow me!"

Together they moved to a large door that led to another large corridor. Everything was enormous here.

"My name is Rose, by the way," the girl turned to her for a second and Rey nodded, smiling.

They neared a massive door that looked like it was made of steel when Rey heard voices coming from behind it.

"I DON'T FUCKING HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" a man's voice shouted, and Rey turned to Rose, raising her brow.

The girl was pale.

"NEED I REMIND YOU THAT I AM YOUR FUCKING BOSS, BEN?! IF I TELL YOU THAT YOU NEED TO TEACH HER, THAT MEANS YOU NEED TO TEACH HER, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! SHE NEEDS A TEACHER!" this voice sounded a lot like Leia Organa.

"I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BABYSIT!"

"Oh, yes?!" Leia's voice became quieter, but both Rey and Rose could still hear her. "And for what do you need your time, Ben? To get wasted in bars? To sniff coke?"

This Ben obviously answered something, but Rey couldn't hear him, and it seemed that Leia interrupted him. 

"Oh, shut up!" she shouted. "I know that you have relapsed again! Long ago! The only thing I am sorry for is that I can't send you to the fucking rehab because they say that I can't decide for you! Too bad that you can't decide for yourself and they can't see it!"

"I think we'd better wait by the reception," Rose murmured, dragging Rey along.

Rey agreed immediately.

"Were they talking about me?" she asked Rose while the two of them were rushing away from Leia's office.

Rose only looked at her apologetically, and Rey understood everything.

"Who's Ben?" she rubbed her temples when Rose led her to the waiting area and brought her a cup of coffee, helping herself as well. Another receptionist had agreed to cover for Rose, so the two women were sitting next to each other now, digesting what had just happened.

"A mistake of Leia's son," Rose smirked, sipping on her coffee, holding thecup in her trembling hands. "The man is a mess... But he is a talented Engineer and well... Leia's son, so she keeps him."

"A mess?" Rey wondered.

"Oh, I don't know what his problem is, but the man is the devil himself... And one who sniffs coke too, as you heard. Leia tries to keep him at bay, but it is barely possible. They can't take him to rehab, because no incidents have occurred yet, and he doesn't want to go there himself. I think Leia is both waiting and dreading for something to happen..."

They both remained silent for several moments.

"I'm sorry, dear," Rose finally sighed.

"Hm?" Rey rose her brow.

"Leia is going to Hong Kong, you see... For a month... And..."

Rose didn't have time to finish because another receptionist walked up to them.

"Leia's waiting for her, Rose," she said, and Rose stood from her seat.

"Oh, come on, you'll see for yourself..."

***

Rey was trembling when she walked over the threshold of Mrs. Organa's office. Her cheerful mood had been destroyed, and now she was considering the option of running away and hiding under the bed in her apartment.

"Rey!" Leia, however, seemed cheerful. The woman probably had no idea that Rey had heard her "conversation" with her son. "Welcome, dear! It's so good to see you!"

Rey smiled, greeting the woman, and then turned to the man in the corner of the room...

For a second, a strange feeling of deja vu hit her, but it was gone before Rey could linger on it. The man looked up at her.

He was massive. 

Ben Organa-Solo was sitting in his chair, but he still looked like he had an equal height to Rey. His hair was black and slightly messy, and Rey remembered Rose's stories about this man wasting his life in clubs, using... Ben, however, looked like this mess on his head was a fashionable hairstyle. He was looking at Rey, and the woman shivered. 

His gaze was not kind at all.

"Let me introduce you to Ben, Chief Engineer of our company," Leia smiled. "I am afraid that an urgent meeting has occurred in Hong Kong, and normally I would have to take you with me, but it's impossible now because we will not be able to prepare your documents. That's why you'll be under Ben's care for the next month. He'll show you everything and will explain how everything works here, won't you, Ben?" Leia looked at the man pointedly, and Rey froze, watching Ben's face becoming even more furious.

The man just nodded, and Leia went on with her introduction.

***

They exited the CEO's office together, Rey trying to keep up with Ben. The man wasn't even looking at her, and finally, Rey stumbled over something and fell to the floor. He didn't even stop.

"Hey, wait!" she shouted, getting back on her feet and running after him. "Wait!"

She had to catch Ben by his jacket to make him stop. They were now standing by the elevator.

"Don't touch me!" he hissed.

"Where the hell are you going?" It was probably too rude coming from Rey, but Ben wasn't trying to be polite either, so she didn't give a damn.

"To my office."

"Weren't you supposed to show me where my office is? Leia told me that I was going to work not far from you while the repair works in my room are on the go?"

"Ask the receptionist."

"And what should I do after?"

"I don't care. Do whatever you want."

"But..."

The elevator's door opened, and Ben walked in. Rey tried to follow, but he pushed her out..

"And Miss Niima?" he smirked evilly as Rey was gaping at what he had just done. "If you fail, I will do everything possible to fire you. You won't stay here, I promise."

The elevator's doors closed in front of her nose, and Rey remained standing in front of them, tears starting to burn her eyes. Leia had just left the building, heading to the airport. Rey was left alone with Ben, and the man couldn't stand her for some reason. 

Rey wanted to cry.

***

Ben slammed the door shut behind him. He was furious. He saw red and wanted to kill. He wanted to kill his mother and all the people who he had met on the way to his office. But most importantly, he wanted to kill that girl.

_Rey Niima._

Ben opened the tube with pills and swallowed three instead of one. This would keep him awake for the rest of the day, and then he would be able to go to the club and forget everything... He needed it... He couldn't stand being sober now. Not after that girl...

Ben growled.

She had hazel eyes and freckles, for fuck's sake! The fucking freckles! And that pointed nose of hers that reminded Ben of...

"OH, FUCK!!!" He exclaimed, pushing the lamp from his office table.

The lamp fell and shattered to pieces, but Ben didn't even notice it because he was pacing the room now.

She looked so much like her... But Ben knew it couldn't be true.

He had to stay awake for as long as he could. He had to stay awake until he could go to the bar and use something that would stop his dreams.

Because Rey looked so much like that little girl... The girl Ben had seen twenty years ago. When he had turned sixteen. His soulmate, much younger than him, but still so precious. But it couldn't be possible. Ben knew that if he fell asleep, he would never see the girl... Because Ben's soulmate was dead. 

He had seen her being killed.


	2. You can go hang, can't you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Thank you for your comments and your support!
> 
> I thank my wonderful beta [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/works) for her amazing help! Thank you, darling!

** **

**Chapter 2.**

**You can go hang, can't you?**

Rey woke up to the sound of her phone ringing.

It was still too early for her alarm clock, she realized, because it was still dark outside.

"Yeah..." she slurred.

"Rey?" Rose's voice sounded too loud for Rey's ears.

"Yeah... Rose... What is it?"

"Do you know that there's a board meeting today?"

"A board... What?"

"As Leia's PA, you are supposed to bring very important documents there. Ben was supposed to tell you that..."

"I guess he forgot to mention it..." Rey growled.

"I bet he did," Rose smirked.

"What time is it?"

"Oh, it's 5 a.m., but I figured out that you would need my help, girl, and got up earlier."

Rose was too good to be true...

"Rose... Thank you..." Rey sighed. "I owe you."

"Oh, I want you to keep this job. That bastard needs to be shown his place."

Rose had been with Rey for the whole day yesterday when Rey tried to figure out what to do at her job. Rey hadn't seen Ben for the entire day, after their encounter by the elevator and she was glad. She had a lot of her plate without him. Now, however, she remembered his words.

_"If you fail, I will do everything possible to fire you. You won't stay here, I promise."_

It seemed Ben had been serious.

Rey, however, finally got angry.

"Okay, moron... I'll take you down to Chinatown, you fuck!" she murmured to herself.

***

Rose had explained everything to her quite quickly. Rey's task wasn't that difficult. She just needed to take notes during the meeting and was also supposed to bring folders with documents for every board member. Rose helped her with those. Rey could do it. It wasn't that difficult.

That was why, by the time the first board member entered the conference room, Rey was ready and waiting.

"Hello there!" the man who stood in front of Rey was somehow young. He had bronze skin and gorgeous black curly hair. His smile was radiant, and for a second, Rey couldn't help but compare him to Ben Solo.

"Poe Dameron," the man introduced himself, shaking Rey's hand. "And you are..."

"Rey Niima," she smiled. "I'm..."

"Leia's new assistant," Poe's smile became even broader. "She told us about you."

"Yes," Rey nodded. "It's nice to meet you!"

There weren't that many people. After Poe, a redheaded man, Armitage Hux, walked in. He wasn't as friendly as Dameron, but he smirked amusedly at Rey.

"Oh, I can't wait to see his face," he murmured, taking his place.

Rey raised her brow, but Hux never explained anything.

After that, Luke Skywalker walked in, and Rey's heart skipped a beat.

The old man was a legend. Rey used to have a poster of him in her room when she was younger.

It turned out that Luke's fame didn't change the fact that he was a lovely man. He talked to Rey a bit before taking his place at the table, and Rey felt so much better. It was like her early wake up time had never happened. Luke radiated strength and confidence. He was so easy going, but he held the attention of every man in the room. It was apparent even before the meeting began.

Luke looked at the watch on his hand.

"You know him," Hux rolled his eyes.

"I actually wish he was late..." Luke sighed. "That way we could send him..." he looked at Rey quickly. "To get some help."

"Not today," Poe sang, looking at the door.

Rey turned in the direction of his gaze, and there he was...

Ben's suit was impeccable, and he looked... gorgeous. His hair was in order, and he looked quite sober despite everything Rey'd heard about him. Yet, something was off. Rey observed the man for several seconds before it hit her.

The dark circles under Ben's eyes were so pronounced, they seemed to almost reach his nose.

"Benny-boy!" Poe exclaimed. "In time as always."

Ben only growled, taking his place. And then he saw her.

Rey could see several expressions cross Ben's face one by one. 

Confusion, anger, fury, hatred...

She only raised her brow at him, smirking. Ben's gaze followed down her body as the man took her in.

Rey knew she looked good. She had prepared for work at Skywalker Tech. She had never been fond of fancy clothing, but Rey had bought a whole new wardrobe. She wanted to fit in.

However, now it seemed her outfit was playing a trick on Ben because Rey could see the man gulp. Surprisingly, Ben's reaction affected her as well, because she felt herself trembling when he raised a brow, his gaze focused on her cleavage. It seemed the man hadn't noticed his reaction himself. Rey, however, was on edge now.

"Oh, Ben," Luke smirked. "You know Miss Niima here, right?"

"We've met," Ben growled, finally pulling out of his trance.

"I thought so," Luke turned to the papers in front of him. "Shall we begin?"

The meeting went smoothly, Rey learning a lot about the company's business. From the corner of her eyes, she watched Ben Solo, who almost snarled visibly at her every time their eyes met.

She shouldn't have given a damn, but for some reason, it hurt her.

What had she ever done to him? Why was he like this?

At the end of the meeting, Luke smiled at her.

"Are you catching up, Rey?"

"Sure!" Rey smiled brightly, flattered by the man's attention.

"Great! Because I want you to work side by side with Ben for the next couple of weeks. You see, that meeting in Hong Kong that Leia is attending at the moment was set for a large merging process. We are going to absorb the largest Asian brand, and Ben will require help."

"I am capable of doing everything by myself," Solo growled, and Rey turned to him, frowning.

Truth be told, the prospect of spending time together with him didn't make her happy, either.

"Oh, you will be doing your job, Ben, Rey will be only helping you with all the papers. As far as I remember, Amilyn is on her maternity leave, and you might need some extra hands."

"She will be back soon," Ben hissed.

"Right, Ben," Armitage rolled his eyes. "She'll come back right after she has given birth to her baby. Because of course, you are much more important than Amy's soulmate and their newborn child..."

"No one asked her to get pregnant!"

"Sure, how dare she!" Poe smirked.

"I don't need help!"

"You _do_ need help," Luke stated, frowning. "End of discussion. Let's go now... Poe and Army need to get back home."

Suddenly, Rey realized that there was more to Poe and Hux than met the eye. Dameron walked up to Armitage and kissed the redhead on the cheek. 

And then Rey frowned at Skywalker's words. Everyone knew that Luke had lost his soulmate Mara to cancer a decade ago. The man never married again, devoting himself to his work. But why didn't he mention Ben? Didn't that moron have a soulmate?

Solo rose from his seat.

"Fine," he growled.

"I thought so," Luke smirked. "And Ben..."

At that, Solo turned to his uncle.

"This time, I want you to explain to Miss Niima how everything works here... For real. Because if you don't, I swear you will lose your job. And because she turned up here while you were trying to make her being late and unprepared, I think she deserves the chance."

With that, Luke left, and Poe and Hux followed him. Rey and Ben remained standing in front of each other.

"Just let me do my job," Rey hissed, breaking the silence first.

She couldn't understand what Solo's problem was. She wasn't his enemy, for God's sake! Ben looked at her up and down, and suddenly Rey felt tiny under his intense gaze. 

Solo was too massive, too extra...

Too damn sexy.

Rey shook her head.

_What's wrong with you, bitch?!_

Rey held Ben's gaze. He was looking at her intently, making goosebumps appear on Rey's back.

"Tomorrow at 7 a.m. If you're late, I'll fucking fire you," Ben finally growled before turning on his heel and walking away.

Rey gulped, watching him go. For some reason, her heart was shattering to pieces.

***

"You fucking showed him his place, you badass bitch!" Rose exclaimed.

She was on her fourth or fifth (Rey stopped counting some time ago) drink and looked deliriously happy.

"I did..." Rey slurred. After the past day, she absolutely needed to get wasted, and Rose was great company.

"Hooray for you, Miss Rey Niima!" Rose cheered, and they drank again.

"So, what're your plans for the rest of the night?" Rose winked. "Gonna get home to your soulmate and celebrate with the best fuck ever?"

Rey frowned.

"I... Not really..." she murmured.

Rose frowned at that.

"What d'ya mean?"

Rey tensed.

"Come on, girl! Are you having trouble? You can tell me..." Rose took Rey's hand, and Rey smiled.

She sipped on her drink, sighing... Rey was so drunk... 

She had never actually had any friends. Never had anyone with whom she could share her story... And Rose was so nice... So, Rey sipped on her beer again and started to talk.

"No waaaaaay, gurl!!!!" Even in her state, Rose sounded compassionate. "But he's not dead, is he?"

"I've got no idea..." Rey shook her head.

"And... He can be a unicorn?..."

Rey snorted into her beer.

"Absolutely!"

They both laughed at that.

"You'll find him someday," Rose said. She wanted to say something else, but Rey interrupted her.

"What's it like?" Rey suddenly asked.

"What’s what like?"

"Finding your soulmate? You have one, don't ya?"

"I do..." Rose's gaze became dreamy. 

"Can you..." Rey hesitated. "Can you tell me what it's like?"

Rose looked at her intently.

"Finn and I are of the same age..." she started, smiling shyly. "I am several months older, but the night I turned sixteen, I saw him... He was in the foster system back then," Rose frowned, and Rey also did. 

Rey was from the foster system too, and immediately felt compassionate. 

"Well, long story short, my family took him in, and we turned eighteen together... And you know..." Rey leaned forward, catching Rose's every word. "I only realized that he was my soulmate when we hugged first..."

"Hugged?"

"Yeah... You know they say that the bond is established after a prolonged body to body contact... Well, we hugged and..."

"And?"

"And it felt like a firebolt struck me... I felt him, and he felt me. For a second, we were like a single person... Connected... United... It's an unbelievable feeling, Rey..."

Rey felt her eyes burning from tears. She smiled sadly, hiding her sorrow, and ordered another beer. 

She was twenty-six... And she would probably never meet her soulmate...

***

The following week, however, made Rey forget about her soulmate. Ben Solo was thedevil. Rey was drowning in paperwork, and all he did was bring her more of it, not really explaining anything. She had never visited his office. The only thing Ben did was move her to a small room without windows next to his. Rey worked there filing papers, not having a chance to even grab lunch. The worst part was that she didn't even know what she was doing. Yes, Ben explained _some things_... But it wasn't enough. 

Rey needed a teacher, and Ben was a shitty one.

Every evening, he just walked away from his office, giving Rey more paperwork.

By Wednesday, Rey was exhausted. She tried and tried and tried some more... But at the end of the day, she was exhausted. 

It was 6 a.m. Her alarm had just rung, and Rey just turned it off. She hadn't left the office for the whole night. She was exhausted...

Rey buried her face in her hands on the table...

She was dozing off...

***

He hated her...

Rey Niima and her fucking freckles... Ben hated her hazel eyes, her small pointed nose, and her fucking pixie ears! Because Ben was barely fighting the pull he felt towards the woman. The pull that had started from the moment he fucking saw her.

Ben couldn't help it, and he hated himself for that. Because he had no right. He had no right to be interested in anyone!

No, he wasn't a virgin or anything. The first year after his precious girl died, Ben had already been eighteen. He started to use then... And to drink... And to fuck...

Because that void in his chest was insufferable.

However, the long line of sex workers was nowhere close to being infatuated by someone. 

Ben remembered too well the first time he had seen his girl...

The day he had turned sixteen, he fell asleep only to find himself in a tiny room somewhere... A girl who didn't look older than six or ten was sleeping on a tiny sofa without a blanket. She seemed so fragile... And she was obviously cold. 

Ben was so scared for her that he had spent the first hour of his sleep looking for something with which he could cover the kid. Of course, he couldn't do it in his sleep.

Later, after he had woken up, Ben started to analyze his dream... She was so much younger, and Ben didn't feel aroused or anything like he thought he would be when he saw his soulmate... But Ben felt the need to protect her at all costs.

The girl couldn't see him. But Ben learned everything he could about her.

She lived in some scrappy junkyard, and that made Ben furious. It seemed that the bastard who was supposed to take care of her was not her relative. The man treated the child like shit. Ben wanted to find the place, but he couldn't... The man never called the girl by her name, addressing her as brat, a little piece of shit and several other names Ben didn't even want to remember. However, nothing could kill the light in the eyes of that child. She always smiled to herself before going to bed, lulling herself to sleep, her arms wrapped around herself.

Ben's heart ached for the girl.

She looked so skinny... They couldn't meet in the dreamland, for now, so Ben could only watch her in her sleep, and explore her surroundings. And, as it was already said, those surroundings made Ben's fist clench in anger...

Sometimes something else happened. Ben was always reluctant to wake up, so he tried his best to stay with her even when the child woke up... 

And once, he managed it. 

Ben had told this to his therapist and his doctor, and they both said that things like that happened sometimes. It happened to soulmates who worried too much for their halves.

It was a blessing of a sort, they said, but for Ben, it was a curse. Because he saw too much.

He never managed to stay with the girl for too long after she woke up, but what he saw he couldn't handle. Ben realized that she was in a foster family and that the ugly bastard who took care of her was her foster father... 

The guy had a strange name... Ungar? Unkar?

Ben would ask his family to help, but he couldn't... Starting from the time he was sixteen, he practically lived alone. His mother and father moved to China for several years to complete an acquisition process, and Ben was left with Luke Skywalker.

The man was a legend. But Luke had a very strange approach to taking care of kids.

_"You are practically an adult," he sighed. "Someday you'll take over Skywalker Tech., kid! You don't need me to babysit you, for God's sake! So live here, take care after your apartment and call me only in case of an emergency!" Luke told him, and Ben was happy about it. Proud even. His uncle thought him capable. _

However, Luke wasn't there when Ben needed him the most.

Ben could never hear the girl properly. He tried and tried and tried some more to find her... Until she died... Luke had been on tour in Africa when it happened. Ben wasn't able to help her...

Since then, he swore to himself that he would never sleep again if he could manage it. It was impossible to close his eyes and not find her there...

And this Rey fucking Niima was there every day now with her eyes beaming with light even when he behaved like shit to her. Ben had noticed her smiling to herself often, and that was also something his girl had done.

Ben hated Rey Niima.

So now, he was walking to his office at 5 a.m., absolutely wasted... He wanted to forget... He had tried to get rid of the sight of Rey Niima with her fucking freckles engraved in the inner side of his eyelids...

He hadn't slept for four days... The last time Ben slept was in a toilet stall in the middle of the day... 

For one fucking hour.

He had just returned from the club where another fix and another woman had kept him awake.

He was going to stay awake for another day...

But he fell asleep instead.

***

Rey was standing in a room she had never visited before. The walls were made of steel, or another metal Rey couldn't name. She could see diplomas on the walls but couldn't see names on them. She turned around.

_Am I dreaming?_

The thought hit her like a hammer in the chest, because this dream was nothing like she had seen before. It felt different... It was too real.

In the corner of the room, she saw a man.

Rey's eyes opened in a flash. She was shivering and sweating. Her body was trembling.

_What the fuck was this?_

At that moment, the door burst open, and Rey saw a figure standing behind it. 

It was Ben fucking Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	3. Can you go hang?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone!
> 
> Thank you for your wonderful comments! This is my first time writing a soulmate AU, so I am trying here :)
> 
> And I thank wonderful [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/works) for editing this!)

** **

**Chapter 3.**

**Can you go hang?!**

Ben was in his office.

He felt uncharacteristically well. Truth be told, he didn't remember the last time he’d felt this good.

He looked around in confusion. His office was just the same as always — wooden walls with his diplomas on them and large panoramic windows.

Ben loved this place. There was always so much light in here that it was impossible to fall asleep.

Ben stood by the window, observing the city skyline. However, something bothered him.

Ben frowned. He couldn’t remember walking to the window.

Shaking his head, he turned around. This happened to him sometimes. He hadn't slept for more than three hours every day for the past eighteen years, so from time to time he just... slipped... Drugs and alcohol didn't help the matter either.

Ben rubbed his temples. If he had somehow sleepwalked here then why did he feel so... fresh?

Suddenly, behind his back, he heard a strange noise. Ben turned abruptly only to see _her_ standing there.

_How dare she?!_

Rey Niima was standing by the wall on the other side of the room.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Ben growled at her, but Rey didn't move.

She wasn't watching him... Ben turned his head in the direction of her gaze and froze.

There at his desk sat another Ben Solo... sleeping.

Ben felt his body starting to shake. Suddenly, he realized the last time he felt this good.

Eighteen years ago. The day he had last seen his soulmate.

He looked at Rey again.

How dare she invade his dreams?! How fucking dare she?! She couldn't!

Ben's eyes opened abruptly. He was panting heavily, sitting at his desk where he had just seen himself.

Pushing his chair back, he rushed away from his office, heading to Niima's room.

He was furious!!!

This couldn't be. His soulmate was dead! Dead! He saw the girl die!

Ben felt the tears burning his eyes.

_How dare she?_

_This couldn't be!_

_Is she sleeping now?_

_She can't be sleeping!_

_God, let her be sleeping!_

Ben burst into Niima's room, almost ripping the door off its hinges.

She wasn't sleeping. 

Ben exhaled, still looking at the woman. Suddenly, on his lips, he felt the taste of blood. He had bitten himself, running.

"Get out of here..." he murmured, noticing Rey shiver at his words.

"But..." she whispered.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! BACK HOME! TO YOUR FUCKING SOULMATE! GET OUT!"

He didn't even know why he was mad... This woman didn't owe him anything, and yet...

Rey tried to say something, but Ben took a stapler from her desk and threw it at the wall.

For a second, the young woman was looking at him with her eyes wide open, and Ben froze in place, feeling his lips begin to tremble. Rey was watching him with that familiar scared gaze he had already seen once. On his soulmate on the night when she was killed.

Rey looked so familiar. Her lips trembled like his, and there was so much hurt in her eyes that Ben forgot how to breathe.

And then with a shriek, she ran away, and Ben remained standing, a familiar void blossoming in his chest.

***

He left and didn't come back to the office for a whole day. Ben didn't want to return at all. 

He didn't even know what hurt the most. 

Was it the fact that Ben had seen a dream that resembled a soulmate dream so much? Was it the fact that the dream was not a soulmate dream, after all? Or was it the sight of Rey's hazel eyes shining with tears?

The last thought made Ben cringe. He was sitting on the floor in the corner of his room, rocking back and forth, not knowing how to calm down this insufferable pain in his chest.

The phone which lay on the floor by his side rang.

"Yeah," he murmured into it, not even bothering to see who was calling.

"Ben?" Luke's voice made him frown. "Where the hell are you?!"

"At home..."

He heard some noises on the other side of the line before Luke spoke again.

"Ben, are you okay?" the older Skywalker finally asked, concerned.

"M' fine..."

"Ben... Are you using?"

"What? No!" he had never been caught. Not by his parents nor his uncle. That's why Luke's question made him especially angry.

"Then why are you not in the office?"

"I took the fucking day off!"

"You never take days off..."

Ben remained silent.

"Ben," Luke's voice sounded softer now. "Do you want me to come over, kid?"

Ben rolled his eyes, pulling himself together. He was thirty-six, and he was hardly a kid.

"I said I was fine," he growled.

"Okay, okay... Ben, I just want to understand what it is with you? Rey called and asked to work from home today. I let her, considering the fact that you weren't here either, but she sounded like she was on the verge of tears... And the guards saw her running from the office building at 6 o'clock in the morning... They said you followed. What's going on?!"

"I have no idea where Miss Niima is," Ben hissed. "I am not her babysitter, and I have no clue what's wrong with her. Honestly, Luke, I don't give a damn!"

It was a lie, though... Ben was worried sick now.

"Well, okay, but please be here tomorrow," Luke finally gave up. "I have a task for both of you. I’ll e-mail you the details..."

"Fine, I'll be there." Ben hung up, not waiting for his uncle's reply.

Luke sent him an e-mail that explained the task, and Ben almost growled at it.

He paced the room for several more hours before he found the courage to dial Rey’s number that Leia had given him earlier, on the day when she left for Hong Kong.

"Hello?" Rey's voice sounded so fragile that the pain in Ben's chest that he had managed to soothe a bit returned.

"Rey?" he asked, his voice trembling for a second.

"What do you want?" she hissed, recognizing him.

"I wanted... to apologize," he finally pulled himself together. "For my behavior the past few... days."

Rey was silent on the other side of the line, but Ben could hear her breathing. This calmed him somehow.

"I... I don't really know what to say," he ran his hand through his hair, starting to pace again. "I... I would explain it to you, but you will get tired listening."

"I can give it a try," she sounded more confident now, and Ben was struck by how the change in her intonation affected him.

"Maybe another time," he frowned. No matter what, he didn't want to tell anyone about the mess that was his life.

"Okay..."

Ben held his breath.

Why was this girl and her voice affecting him this much?

"Okay..." he repeated, continuing to hold his breath afterwards.

"So... What now?" Rey finally asked him.

"Well," Ben sighed. "Luke wants us to work on a project together... So you'll have to come to my office tomorrow..."

"At seven?"

Ben smirked at Rey's willingness. She wanted to work, this fierce creature.

"No, come at nine. We have time."

"Okay, Ben..."

They stayed silent for several more minutes.

"You need to sleep. Your family must be waiting for you... Goodnight, Rey," Ben finally sighed.

"Night," she was the first one to hang up.

Ben sighed. Of course, Rey had a family... How could she not?

***

They were sent to a fucking drilling station.

Skywalker Tech. Inc was very rich for a reason. They worked with oil companies, providing service for the stations that pumped oil from the depths of the Earth. And now, one of the stations was experiencing some problems that required Ben's attention.

This morning they’d driven to the airdrome on the shore and were now sitting together in the helicopter that was moving towards the sea. From the corner of his eyes, Ben was watching Rey.

She looked terrified.

He patted the woman on the shoulder, noticing a strange tingle in the tips of his fingers. This tingle had bothered him from this morning when he shook Rey's hand, and they’d spent several minutes not knowing what to say. Maybe he should have shown this to the doctor because after Ben patted Rey on the shoulder, the feeling spread to his palm.

"Don't worry," he smiled at her when the woman turned her head to him. "We are absolutely fine. I promise you, I'll return you to the shore intact."

"And alive?" Rey raised her brow, and Ben couldn't help but laugh.

She was adorable, he had to admit it.

Rey smiled brightly at him, and Ben was struck by that smile. He still felt a bit guilty for everything he had done to her and for how terrified she looked the morning before, though.

If he were being completely honest with himself, he would give anything not to see that fear on her face ever again...

He couldn't avert his gaze from this girl. Ben could see every freckle on her nose, could see how the sun reflected in Rey's irises. He had never been this aware of anyone before.

"This is my first time in the air," Rey finally murmured.

"Terrifying?" he asked, raising his brow.

"Nah, not at all," Rey waved him off with her shaking hand.

Ben laughed again.

He wanted to take her hand and soothe her but he didn't dare. Rey wasn't his, no matter how much he craved her. And how Ben craved Rey! It was insufferable, but he couldn't deny it any longer.

They spent the whole day at the station, and Ben was surprised by how well Rey understood everything.

"What exactly are you doing?" he raised his brow, looking at the woman climbing on one of the constructions areas around them.

"I have never seen anything like this!" Rey exclaimed excitedly, and Ben lost his breath at how beautiful she looked. "Just look at it! What is it for?!"

He had never been a good teacher. Rey, however, was turning him into one. They spent much more time than they needed together, Rey holding onto his every word as Ben explained everything around them to her. 

She was quite brilliant.

"What did you study?" he asked her on their way back.

"Engineering," Rey shrugged.

"Really? Where?"

"University of Naboo."

"Naboo?" Ben raised his brow. The place wasn't the best, but Rey was obviously quite bright.

"Yeah," Rey looked at him inquiringly. "What's wrong with Naboo?"

"After what you showed at the station, I thought that you’d graduated from Alderaan or Mustafar or something," Ben shrugged.

"Well, thank you!" Rey crossed her arms in front of her chest. She was much calmer in the air now, getting used to it quickly. "But not everyone grows up with a silver spoon in their mouth, Ben."

"I didn't mean to offend you," he said confusedly. "I just noticed... How bright you are. You probably need a teacher, though..."

Ben didn't know why he felt so dizzy. Was it because the last time he slept was in his office when he saw Rey in his dream? Or was it because Rey was so close to him? He looked up at her and realized that she had lowered her eyes and was now watching her hands.

"Thank you," she murmured into the microphone on her headphones. "I wasn't offended... Just teasing you."

Ben smirked.

"I am actually proud that I graduated from Naboo," Rey went on and at that Ben couldn't help but smirk some more. "What?!" Rey slapped him on the shoulder. For a second, Ben thought that she'd hurt her hand because Rey clenched her fist and looked at it, frowning. But then she smiled at him and he forgot about everything, the newfound itching in his shoulder included. "I managed to get their scholarship. And growing up in Jakku, you look at Naboo like it is the center of the world."

"Jakku?" Ben barely remembered where the town was. As far as he recalled, it was a hole somewhere in Nevada.

"Yeah."

"Your family's from there?"

Rey shrugged.

"Probably... I never got the chance to ask them."

Now, Ben was frowning.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Rey sighed, stretching in her seat, and making Ben gulp at the sight of her flexible catlike body. "I was found on the doorstep of a Protestant Parish of St. Niima of Spoletto when I was around three years old... Rey was the surname of the Pastor who found me."

At these words, Ben forgot about his growing arousal.

Rey was an orphan...

"I'm sorry..." he murmured.

"I was tossed from one foster home to another," Rey shrugged. "Some of my foster parents were better than others. My last foster mom, for example, wanted to adopt me, but there were some problems with her documents, and I turned eighteen before she managed to do it... She died soon after, but Maz was a good woman..."

_Maz... _

His soulmate's foster father's name was Unkar or something... And still, his girl and Rey had so much in common. Ben felt tears burning his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Rey apologized. "I don't know why I am telling you this."

"No, no... It's fine," Ben frowned, turning to the window.

He desperately needed a drink.

***

Rey desperately needed a drink. Or a dozen drinks.

After Ben had called her the day before, she couldn't calm down.

Rey was used to people’s rudeness. However, after what Ben did, Rey felt like she had been punched in the stomach again and again. Her whole body was in pain.

It was insufferable.

It was so painful that at first, Rey forgot about the dream she had seen in the morning. But then, after she cried a bit and managed to calm down, she remembered it again.

It was so strange. Why on Earth was she dreaming about that moron?! She would have thought more about it, had she not been in pain.

When Rey heard Ben's voice on the phone, she had almost hung up on him. However, her body which had been hurting all day suddenly relaxed. The pain went away. And that was why she forgot to do it...

He had fucking apologized... And then they had spent a day at that damn drilling station where Ben had turned out to be the best teacher possible... And then Rey had started to spill her whole life story to him, and she had never done that with anyone before.

And Ben had just listened... Until he closed up, and Rey felt like a dumb bitch because he was obviously uncomfortable with everything she had told him...

And the cherry on top was that because of the poor weather conditions, they couldn't drive home that evening and had to stay in this little rundown city by the shore.

Rey loved the ocean. But the only ocean she needed now was an ocean of whiskey... 

She was so fucking wasted now...

Ignoring the itch in her palm that had appeared there today, Rey was sipping her drink when a massive figure appeared by her side. She turned to it and hiccuped in surprise.

Ben Solo was standing there, looking down at her.

"You fucking have your fifth glass, do ya know that?" he slurred, frowning.

"Why d'ya care?" she squinted at him drunkenly. It seemed Ben was not any more than her. He was probably also high because his pupils looked like two giant saucers.

He fell into the seat in front of her.

"Do I have to teach you fucking everything, Niima?!" He growled, slamming his own glass on the table.

It was noisy here, and no one paid them any attention. It was for the better, really, because Rey felt so confused and so fucking angry that she couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Don't fuckin' tell me what to do!" she exclaimed.

"Don't fuckin' behave like an irresponsible adult! You are alone and drunk here, for fuck's sake!"

"Who's irresponsible here, you junkie?! And why d'ya care?!"

Ben growled at that, and for a second Rey felt sorry for her words even through her drunken haze.

"Because your soulmate is fuckin' waiting for you at home, and you're fucking irresponsible!" Ben shouted.

"OH, SHUT UP!!!" Rey rose from her chair, splashing her glass of whiskey into his face.

And then, Rey turned on her heel and ran away from the bar.

How fucking dare he?! It was none of his fucking business!

She barely walked straight, but finally, she reached the hotel.

"NIIMA!" Rey heard behind her back. 

Turning around, Rey saw Solo running after her on wobbly legs. She rushed towards the hotel.

Her room was on the eleventh floor, so the stairs weren't an option. Rey pushed at the elevator button madly and sighed in relief when the door opened in front of her immediately. However, when she pushed the button of the eleventh floor and turned to face the doors, she saw that Solo was right next to the elevator already. He jumped inside, and the doors closed behind him. The elevator started to move, but Ben pushed the stop button, and they stopped.

Ben was towering over her now, and Rey had to raise her head to look at him.

"You are a handful, Niima!" he growled.

"Fuck off!" she hissed at him, struggling not to lower her gaze. He looked so menacing... And so fucking arousing...

"Or what, Rey?" he suddenly whispered, and she froze, inhaling Ben's smell.

Her whole body covered in goosebumps, and Rey shivered. This didn't skip Ben's attention, and she gasped when he licked his lips.

"You and your fucking freckles..." he whispered, and even being absolutely wasted, Rey couldn't believe her ears. "And your fucking hazel eyes, Niima... And your small fucking breasts that I crave so fucking much... Fuck!"

He jumped on her, pushing Rey into the wall of the elevator.

Ben could easily crush her, but Rey didn't give a damn. She wrapped her legs around his waist, as Ben lifted her by the ass, and she bit his lower lip.

"You fucking moron!" she hissed into their kiss before inserting her tongue so deep into Ben's mouth that he almost gagged.

"You fucking cocktease!" he was squeezing the cheeks of her butt so tightly that Rey would probably bruise the next day.

She, however, didn't give a damn because she was pushing into his groin with her cunt, feeling something large and solid starting to grow there...

And then it hit her...

Rey didn't understand what it was, but it felt like the Universe collapsed on the two of them. Immediately, Rey felt everything... She was so wasted, but she still felt like Ben was a part of her now, all his emotions merging with hers. 

_What the fuck?! _was the only thing she could think.

She could feel that he was as high as a kite, the sensation so very unfamiliar to her. And she could also feel that part of this high was not from the drugs that Ben had obviously taken... A portion of his high was delivered by her...

It should have scared Rey but instead of that, she deepened the kiss, hearing Ben moaning loudly.

"For fuck's sake..." he whispered into her mouth, obviously feeling the same things as Rey.

"Oh, God!!!" Rey was rubbing and rubbing at Ben's shaft, not really knowing what she was doing.

She had never been with a man before. Never. 

No, no... People had sex outside of their soulmate couples. There were many people without soulmates. People who had lost their halves and needed to start over... Sex workers and escorts... But Rey always dreamt of belonging to someone... That's why sex with somebody else but her soulmate, no matter how unicorny he was, was out of the question for her... She’d bought herself a vibrator but had never managed to find the right spot, so she had given up on it.

Now, however, she felt overwhelmed. 

Intensive warmth was spreading from her cunt to her knees, and Rey rubbed and rubbed over Ben. When she felt that the sensation wasn't possible to handle anymore, something exploded inside her, and Rey's pussy started to clench by itself, making Rey growl in pleasure.

"ARGH!!!!! FUCK!!!!" Ben shouted, holding her.

She could still feel him. His orgasm also hit him hard. The two of them were still as one, so Rey experienced two orgasms at the same time, and it was unbelievable...

She was barely conscious because of the amount of alcohol inside her and wasn't really understanding what was going on, but it felt like the best thing in her entire life...

And then it stopped.

Ben pulled back from her, looking at Rey with his drunken, gloomy eyes. And then he dropped her, and Rey almost fell, watching Ben taking a step back from her, looking at her in terror.

_What's going on?!_

Ben slammed the button of his floor, still watching Rey with his blurry terrified eyes. She tried to take a step towards him, but Ben almost snarled at her.

Immediately, Rey felt lost.

And then the doors opened behind Ben's back, and he rushed away from the elevator, leaving Rey behind as she watched him go, tears rolling down her cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	4. You can't go hang!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guys, another chapter! As always, thank you so much for your comments! I really appreciate them! I love them, they always motivate me to write!
> 
> Thank you, [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/works) for your help, support and kind words! You are amazing!
> 
> Enjoy, guys!)

** **

**Chapter 4.**

**You can't go hang!**

Rey was too drunk and too struck by what had happened between her and Ben to process him running away. The only thing she knew was that it hurt like hell.

The doors of the elevator closed in front of her, and she started moving up, but her heart remained shattered on the elevator's bottom floor.

Rey was glad that she was this drunk because otherwise, her pain would be insufferable. Back in her room, Rey fell onto her bed and buried her face in the pillows, crying.

What happened there, in the elevator? What the fuck had happened?!

She had felt him. She had known what Ben was feeling, what he was using, for fuck's sake! 

The amount of alcohol in Rey's blood finally took over, and she dozed off, still unable to answer any of those questions.

Morning hit her like a hammer to the head. Rey's hangover was so drastic that at first, she couldn't remember what had caused it. 

And then she remembered...

_What the hell was that?!_

It wasn't a consequence of Rey's boozy night out. She'd been drunk before. Alone and with someone. But she'd never felt anyone’s feelings, anyone’s bodily sensations, like they were her own! She remembered her and Ben's bodies practically merging... And she also remembered the orgasm that felt like she was coming for herself and him...

That had NEVER happened to her before.

With shaking hands, Rey started to explore her body, but all her body parts seemed to be in their proper places.

And then it hit her.

Rose and her soulmates stories...

Rey reached for her mobile phone, almost dropping it, and dialed Rose's number.

"Honey?" Rose's voice sounded as cheerful as always. "What's up?"

"Rose... Didn't I wake you up?" Rey suddenly realized that she hadn't checked the time before calling.

"Nah! My alarm clock went off like twenty minutes ago. Rey, are you okay?" Rose sounded concerned now.

"I'm... I'm fine," she pulled herself together. "Rose... Do you remember what you told me about that soulmate connection that established after you and Finn met?"

"Yeah?" Rose's voice sounded intrigued. "Rey... What happened?!"

"Tell me more about it..."

After twenty minutes of explanations, Rey felt her body shaking even harder. Everything that Rose told her sounded exactly like what had happened between Rey and Ben. Well, save for the orgasm, but Rose had probably decided not to mention it.

_Can it be?..._

Suddenly, another thought hit Rey.

"Rose... Did you and Finn stop dreaming about each other after you met?" she asked.

"What?!" the woman sounded surprised. "Well, no! Dreaming about each other is still the best part of it all... I heard that in time, you start to dream less about your soulmate because your bond doesn't need so much connection anymore to be strong. But it happens after a couple spends years together... Decades even... Rey... Tell me what happened..."

Rey wished she could... But it was probably a terrible idea to tell Rose about her and her boss coming together in the elevator... And there was also one more thing... 

Rey hadn't seen Ben in her sleep...

The man had been wasted. There was no chance they wouldn't have seen each other, had he been her soulmate. He couldn't have stayed awake...

"It's... Nothing," Rey lied. "I just met a guy in the bar yesterday and got so drunk that I think I hallucinated... I didn't experience anything close to what you've just described..."

"Really?" Rose smirked. "You probably drank too much, honey... You should take care!"

"You bet..." Rey muttered.

They said their goodbyes, promising to have lunch together when Rey returned to the office. She growled... Ben had driven her to this town, and Rey was supposed to be downstairs at 8 a.m. She was already late...

Her back hurt. This wasn't the pain that Rey had experienced after she met Ben. This was her usual pain that returned from time-to-time after a severe trauma that Rey had experienced in her childhood.

Now was the worst timing possible!

Rey thought about Solo again while she was taking a shower and getting dressed... She hadn't seen him in her sleep... He couldn't be her soulmate... Then what had happened between them? She wanted answers. She was going to talk to Solo no matter whether he wanted to or not!

However, Rey dreaded meeting Ben after last night. She pulled herself together and took a deep breath exiting the elevator. 

No one was waiting for her downstairs... 

Rey asked the receptionist about Ben only to find out that "Mr. Solo left the hotel last night".

Rey was bewildered.

He had been drunk, and he had taken the car! And Rey was left alone in the middle of nowhere.

She pulled out her phone, hit by the realization that Ben could be dead in a ditch somewhere, considering his condition the night before...

"Rose?" she asked, her voice trembling when the girl picked up her phone again. "I need help..."

***

It turned out that Ben had managed to get back home intact. At least, his car was back in the office building parking lot. Ben, however, wasn't in the office. 

Rose had to order a car for Rey, and it took the woman eight hours to get back to the office. She thought that there would be no one there by the time she got back, but Rose left her a message, asking her to visit Luke's office once she returned.

Rey cursed, trembling at the prospective of meeting her boss, who was also Ben's uncle, who had been waiting for her to come back around six hours ago.

Gulping, she knocked on the door of Mr. Skywalker's office.

"Come in!" she heard.

Luke was frowning at some papers on the table, but when Rey entered, he looked up at her and... smiled. 

It was a sad smile... The man was watching her intently.

"Sit down, Rey," he invited her, nodding at the chair across the desk from him.

Rey accepted the offer, not averting her eyes from the old man.

Luke sighed.

"I think I need to apologize," he frowned.

"I... What?" An apology was not something Rey had expected to hear.

"I think you deserve an apology for my nephew's behavior," Luke rubbed his eyes. "And since I am not expecting him to apologize himself, I am going to do it for him... I don't know what's wrong with the boy, and I'm going to discuss his behavior with his mother when she returns... Leaving you in that town alone was unacceptable... Today's Friday, so have a good weekend off, and starting from Monday, I will be looking after you myself... You won't have to deal with Ben anymore."

"Is he... safe?" Rey asked quietly. What Luke was saying was actually good news... Why then did she feel this... empty?

"He is," Luke shrugged. "Why wouldn't he be?" So Luke didn't know in what condition his nephew had driven home last night... "He's probably having the time of his life in that club... "The First Order" or something like that... But that has nothing to do with you, Rey... I'm sorry... You can go now. And feel free to order a taxi, using the company's account..."

They talked some more, but half an hour later, Rey stood in the cold night air outside the company's building... it felt like Luke had apologized a million more times before she left, but Rey felt furious.

_How dare he?_

No, no, she wasn't mad at the older Skywalker. But there was a particular Solo bastard whose ass Rey desperately needed to kick. So, before calling her taxi, using the company's account just how Luke had suggested, Rey Googled a particular club...

She was going to kick some ass tonight. She was going to kick a particular ass, whose tall and black haired owner was also a complete and utter ass!

***

Ben didn't remember how he got into the club.

Ever since he dropped off the car at the company's parking lot and turned off his phone, everything was a blur...

He had always been careful... And driving high and drunk was something he had never done before. He was lucky that he hadn’t been caught this time.

It was crazy and dangerous, but Ben had managed to get home safe. Dropping his stuff in the hallway, he walked to the small table that stood in the corner and pulled out a credit card and a tiny plastic bag full of white powder from his pocket.

Ben had to stay awake... And he also had to forget...

_He was looking at her, panting heavily, feeling his cum running down his leg... He had never climaxed this hard in his entire life for fuck's sake! _

_And he also had no idea what had happened._

_Ben wanted to fucking devour her! He wanted to merge with her, and somehow Ben had done precisely that._

_Ben's whole body was shaking, and he was terrified. Maybe it was drugs... Maybe..._

_He had to get out of here! He had to get out and away!_

_He couldn't let this woman near him! Fuck Rey Niima and her fucking freckles!..._

_So he pushed the elevator button and ran away…_

Now he was sitting on the couch in the corner of "The First Order," and a blonde, whose name he wouldn't remember in the morning, was licking his lips, her breath smelling of disgusting alcohol. 

There were plenty of these kind of women here. Not whores, but young girls who craved finding a Sugardaddy. They were looking for easy money that their appearance could afford them. Ben felt disgusted by every single one of them.

But he couldn't care less right now. 

Not when his body literally hurt either from drugs and sleep-deprivation or from the fact that a hallucination of Rey Niima stood in front of his eyes. Ben leaned forward to a small table in front of him, pushing the blonde aside and sniffing in some more coke. He needed more... More... Or he would...

"Get the hell out of here," Rey's voice was like a bucket of cold water on him. Ben practically jumped at the sound of it and almost fell off the couch.

He looked up at her. It wasn’t a hallucination after all. Rey was actually here, standing with her hands on her hips, and her gaze was so full of fury that Ben gulped.

"No, you get the hell out of here!" the blonde by Ben's side hiccuped. "He's fucking mine! Aren't you, honey?"

She tried to kiss Ben, but he pushed her away.

"Get out!" he growled, and the blonde squealed, running away.

Rey sat down on the couch near him. She wasn't averting her gaze from him, and Ben felt... ashamed.

He had always justified his behavior. Ben really didn't want to live. Not since his girl had been killed. 

However, Ben was a coward.

He considered ending his life a couple of times but was too afraid to do it.

He had chosen a different way to end everything faster. Drugs, alcohol, and sleep deprivation would kill him eventually. Ben always thought that if his fate was cruel enough to deprive him of the only woman he could love, then he had every right to destroy himself. 

Now, however, he was ashamed.

This beautiful woman had arrived here for some reason and was looking at him with so much accusation in her eyes...

And Ben felt like an unworthy junkie... A mistake of a man...

And then Rey leaned forward to the table and brushed the coke away with a wave of her hand.

Ben gasped, leaning forward, trying to catch the priceless powder. He kneeled in futile attempt to gather it from the floor.

"FUCK!" he finally yelled, pulled from his trance into which Rey's appearance had pushed him just several minutes ago. "OH, FUCK!!! FUCK!!!"

He looked up at Rey in a fury and froze again.

There was no accusation in her eyes anymore, just... pity.

And then it hit him.

Ben had always despised men who were addicted to coke. Yes, he'd been trying to kill himself with drugs, but he was still sure that if he needed to, he would have been able to stop without a problem. He had seen people selling everything for a fix and had always considered himself better, worthier.

Now, however, he was sitting on the floor, ready to lick it. His suit was a mess, his hair was a mess... He was a mess...

And Rey, this young, precious woman, was looking down at him...

And Ben... Ben had never been good with acceptance of his mistakes and failures. 

"Get the hell out of here!" he yelled at her, trying to stand up, but failing miserably.

Rey didn't move.

He tried to reach her but was too high and drunk to do it.

"I said, get out! GET OUT!"

Raising from the floor was impossible... Ben lost his balance every time he tried, and finally, exhausted and defeated, he sat on the floor and buried his face in his hands...

Drugs could do this to a person... One second you felt like you were able to rule the world, and the next you were lying on the floor, wishing to die...

Ben couldn't help it any longer. He hadn't slept well for eighteen years... He had tried to destroy himself, but his life was too cruel to just let him die... He was too healthy, too strong... 

Ben sobbed.

He sobbed, and that finally broke the dam...

Ben couldn't stop crying, smearing his tears all over his face.

And then, suddenly, he felt two hands on his knees that he had hugged to himself, trying to hide from the world.

He shivered and looked up at Rey, who was watching him now, sitting right in front of him. She was so very close to him, and Ben noticed that she was also crying.

"Let me take you home, Ben..." she pleaded. "Please..."

He was too weak to argue. 

Rey helped him to get up, and Ben leaned on her, barely standing on his feet.

"You have to help me, big guy," she murmured. "You need to move by yourself... I won't be able to carry you all the way..."

Ben tried.

For Rey, he tried, and he managed.

Together they entered the elevator that started to move immediately.

"You needed a teacher," he murmured, not really realizing what he was talking about.

"Hm?" Rey obviously struggled, supporting his weight, so she didn't understand what he said either.

"You needed a teacher... To show you everything... And I failed you..."

"It's okay..." she frowned. "All I need now is for you to stop failing yourself..."

"Don't you need to be home with your soulmate or something?" his thoughts were disarranged, and his words were hardly understandable.

"I don't have a soulmate," Rey hissed, and he looked down at her in surprise.

Rey's touch had some sort of magical effect on him. Ben felt like dying just a few minutes ago, but now he could fully understand what she had just said.

Had she lost her soulmate too? Was she lonely?

"What happened?" he slurred.

The doors of the elevator opened, and Rey helped Ben exit.

"I've always been alone," Rey murmured, taking a step towards the taxi that she managed to order on their way to the elevator. Ben had told her his address.

"You are not alone..." Ben murmured, feeling warmth spreading down his body from contact with her.

"You know what, neither are you!" Rey hissed. "So would you please help me and move your feet?!"

She pushed him into the car and moved around to the other side to get in. They weren't talking, but his apartment building was just a block away from "The First Order", so the ride wasn't that long.

"Wow..." Rey gasped, entering his place and helping Ben to reach the large couch in his living room.

Ben always loved the panoramic window here for the same reason he loved it in his office. The amount of light in here meant he could stay awake for a longer time. Now, however, he was starting to like that fucking window for a completely different reason.

His vision was blurry, but Ben could see Rey's silhouette, and it was a vision he never wanted to forget...

And then she turned to him.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" there was no accusation in her tone, just sadness.

"It's... a long story..."

He had never been this sleepy before. 

Ben was used to fighting the fatigue, but now it was practically impossible to stay awake. He closed his eyes, and the last thing he saw was Rey walking up to him.

From this moment on, there were only touches and whispers. Rey was caressing his face gently and asking him something, and it was the most delicious feeling in the world.

"Rey," he pleaded. "Don't let me fall asleep... I beg you."

It was the last thing Ben managed to say. And then, his fatigue took him over...

***

"Do you remember what happened in the elevator?" Rey asked Ben, who had just closed his eyes.

This man was a mess...

He was a mess, but she couldn't leave him. Couldn't let go of him. She reached for his face, caressing his cheeks, his nose, his ears, and then his hair.

"Ben?" she whispered. "Do you remember what happened? Where's your soulmate, Ben?"

"Rey," he suddenly pleaded, and she leaned forward to hear him better. "Don't let me fall asleep... I beg you."

She was surprised by this request. Rey tried to shake him, to ask him more questions...

There was no answer... 

Rey sobbed, desperately. Ben was sound asleep.

_So he does sleep, after all... _She thought bitterly.

She remembered him gathering coke from the floor. He looked so pathetic! And she couldn't help but hurt at the sight of this handsome man, falling so low.

Rey knew she couldn't save him if he didn't want to be saved. But, oh God, how she wanted him to want it!

She looked around.

His apartment was enormous and posh, but somehow... abandoned. Rey walked around, hugging herself, trying to calm down... She was nervous, and when Rey was nervous, she always felt hungry.

There was a kitchen by the living room, and Rey entered it, heading to the fridge... After all, Ben could afford to feed her a bit...

She opened the fridge and froze...

It was absolutely empty, save for many packs of energy drinks. Rey frowned.

She closed the door and started moving around the kitchen, opening cupboards.

There was practically no food, but there was coffee and even more energy drinks everywhere.

_Why on Earth does he need this much caffeine?!_

She returned to the living room... And then walked through another door... to where the bedroom was supposed to be... It was a comfortable room with another panoramic window... And it actually looked like a bedroom... 

But there was no bed...

Suddenly the dots started to connect in her head... The dark circles under his eyes, the drugs, the packs of energy drinks...

_Oh, my God..._

There was only one way to find out for sure...

Rey laid down next to Ben on the sofa and closed her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	5. You can't go hang, because I f*cking need you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!
> 
> Wow, I am so glad you liked this fic... Things are going to escalate quickly, I promise) Thank you, everyone, for your wonderful comments!)
> 
> Thank you, [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/works) for your help with this!

** **

**Chapter 5.**

**You can't go hang, because I f*cking need you!**

Ben stood in front of his window, enjoying the view of the city skyline all over again. Surprisingly, he felt very refreshed and relaxed. 

Ben had probably slipped under again after entering the apartment because he didn't remember Rey leaving. But he had asked her not to let him fall asleep, and she had obviously managed somehow.

He felt fresh and calm, but at the same time, the drastic feeling of guilt was eating him from the inside out.

Ben felt pathetic...

Today, after Rey destroyed what was probably a $1000 worth fix of coke, he had been furious. Now, standing in front of the window and realizing that his body had processed the drugs, he felt better, but also ashamed...

He had been rude to Rey, and that broke his heart. And he obviously could do without drugs, considering how well he felt right now... Now, Rey had left, and Ben didn't know if he wanted to run after her or... Or he didn't know what else he could do... Because this girl would be the death of him. All these feelings he felt towards Rey would kill him quicker than coke or whiskey. He closed his eyes, frowning.

"Ben?" he didn't expect to hear Rey's voice behind his back, so he turned around, scared to death by her unexpected presence.

Rey was looking at him with an unfamiliar expression. She looked... astonished... surprised... overwhelmed...

Ben had no clue what had caused her distress. It couldn't have been him, because she had already seen him at his lowest, and he was feeling much better now. He took a step towards her, not really thinking about what he was doing, and took her hand in his.

"Rey..." he murmured. "I... I thought you left..."

She shook her head, lowering her eyes and gulping before looking up at him again.

"It's... you..." she whispered, and to Ben's utter terror, he saw tears rolling down her face. "It is you," she repeated, sobbing.

"Me?" he was so surprised and had no idea what she was talking about. "What..."

And then Rey took another step towards him and kissed him.

Ben still remembered their first kiss. He had been drunk, and the world had been blurry, but the image of Rey, the memory of her, was as clear as day. Ben remembered how soft her lips and tongue were, remembered how fragile her body felt in his massive arms.

Now, however, the sensation of Rey was phenomenal.

It was nothing he had experienced before. Ben felt every inch of Rey's body that was pressed into his now, as if it were his own. He could feel the taste of her tears, the heat of her breathing... He could feel her growing arousal.

Ben growled, lifting Rey. He carried her to the kitchen and put her on one of the counters, never breaking their kiss.

His hands roamed under Rey's blouse, searching for the clasp of her bra. Ben had to move lower, kissing Rey's neck now, the action making her shiver in his arms, but finally, he undid the thing. He could feel the cups moving aside from Rey's breasts and then he reached under them to find... oh, right, there it was... 

Rey's pointed nipple pressed into his palm, and they both made noises that made the kitchen window tremble.

"For fuck's sake..." Ben murmured, pressing between Rey's legs. She moaned, starting to rub on him, meeting his every thrust.

He craved her. But it wasn't just that. Ben felt so much tenderness towards this woman in his arms that it was almost unbearable.

They were still fully clothed, but it felt as if Ben had already entered her. For the second time in his life, he was ready to come in his pants.

He bit on Rey's neck, leaving a hickey there, and she moaned even louder. It was an extraordinary sensation. For some reason, every feeling in Ben's body intensified bizarrely. It felt like he could not only feel himself thrusting into Rey, but could also experience what Rey was feeling when she was rubbing her cunt over his shaft.

At the same time, Ben was hit by another strange sensation. It felt like Rey was scared, hurt, and afraid for some reason. It was as if she was hurt by something or someone.

Ben wanted to stop this feeling, so he kissed her harder.

"Baby..." he whispered.

It was good that Rey was wearing a skirt because it was easier for Ben to reach the warmest place between her thighs this way. Ben gasped, feeling that Rey was wearing stockings. There was a thin line of her skin between them and her panties. 

Ben traced his way up her cunt with his fingers, touching Rey's bare skin.

"Ahhh...." Rey exhaled, arching her back, and Ben was utterly lost.

He found her clit, not really bothering to push Rey's underwear aside. Ben gasped as Rey's wetness covered his fingers through the fabric.

"Fuck, Rey..."

He was rubbing her pearl fiercely, not really thinking about the fact that her pleasure reflected in his body. Ben almost moaned when he found the right spot and pushed harder on it.

"FUCK!!!" It was Rey who cried out now, and Ben bit her neck again.

He loved doing this. Something primal in him wanted to claim her, to leave his mark on her.

He bit again, and Rey climaxed so hard that Ben had to use all of his willpower not to follow her.

He wasn't finished with her.

Ben unzipped his trousers quickly, and his hard length stood proudly, pointing to the direction of Rey's hot wet cunt.

"Wait," she suddenly pleaded, and Ben looked up at her in surprise.

And then he frowned.

He could not only see it but also feel it.

Rey was terrified. Her eyes were wet from tears, and she was looking at him with her eyes open wide.

"What is it?" he couldn't help but reach for her face, cupping her cheek and caressing it. 

"I've... I've never been with a man before," Rey's lips trembled. "I... I don't know if it works the same way in a dream, but I..."

"A dream?" Ben interrupted her. "What?..."

Suddenly he started to realize that this whole situation was really strange... Something was off... He felt too well... Too fresh... And Rey...

Ben could feel her... It wasn't a regular thing.

He took a step back, pulling his pants back on.

"What the hell is going on?" 

"What?" Rey sounded surprised, and somehow even more hurt. It was breaking Ben, but he was too terrified to process it. "What do you mean?"

"What the hell are you talking about?!" he shouted.

"Ben, can't you see what's going on?!" Rey shouted back.

They both froze, looking at each other, and then Rey nodded towards the exit from the kitchen.

Ben turned around in shock and saw the couch in his living room. He almost fainted.

There, their limbs tangled, lay him and Rey, hugging each other in their sleep.

It couldn't be...

He turned back to Rey, furious.

"How did you do it?!" he cried. "How the fuck did you get into my dream?!"

"What?..." Rey was crying again, and Ben's chest was being torn apart by the feeling of her hurt and sorrow. "What the hell are you talking about, Ben?! I am your soulmate!!!"

Ben was panting heavily, trying not to vomit.

It couldn't be.

"Why did you try to avoid seeing me?" Rey suddenly whispered, and he looked up at her in terror. She was crying hard now. "Why, Ben? You live without a bed... You use, you drink, and there's nothing but energy drinks and coffee in your kitchen... You obviously tried not to sleep at all... Why, Ben?"

He was out of words... Rey looked so broken. But she also looked so much like his little girl. 

His little dead girl...

"Did you see me all those years ago and feel repulsed by me?" Rey sobbed.

_What?..._

"I dreamt of seeing you for ten fucking years, Ben! And you managed to never sleep at the same time as me! Am I that terrible?!"

He had to wake up. Making an effort, Ben opened his eyes.

***

Rey's eyes opened in a flash, and she pulled back from Ben immediately. Ben was on his feet already, his entire body shaking, looking at her like a madman.

"How the fuck did you do it?!" He growled, repeating the question he had already asked her in their shared dream.

"I didn't do anything!" Rey sobbed. "It was a soulmate dream, Ben!"

"NO!" his fists were clenched, and Ben took a menacing step towards Rey. She stepped back, and Ben stopped too. "Don't you fucking dare..."

"Ben," she needed to say it out loud. "I AM YOUR SOULMATE!"

"MY SOULMATE IS DEAD!!! I SAW HER FUCKING DYING!!!"

"I AM NOT DEAD, BEN!!!"

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!! GET OUT!!! NOW!!!"

He moved towards her menacingly again, and Rey ran...

She ran away from the apartment, taking the stairs, not bothering to stop by the elevator.

Outside, hit by a wave of the cold night air, Rey shivered but didn't stop, running as far away from Ben's house as possible.

The man was crazy... Completely delusional!

Her soulmate spent years trying not to sleep, trying not to see her. What was wrong with him? And what was it about her being dead?

Ben had probably lost his mind... gone crazy...

It wasn't that surprising, considering the amount of sleep and drugs he was getting every day...

What was wrong with her? Why was everyone always leaving her? Her parents, who HAD to take care of her. Her soulmate, who HAD to be able to love her...

And yet...

Rey was crying. She hadn't stopped running for a second, moving through the night city. She had taken Ben from "The First Order" at around 10 p.m., and now it was a little bit after midnight.

"Miss Niima?" Suddenly she heard a familiar voice behind her back. "Rey?"

She turned to the sound of it and saw Poe who was standing by the car, a black folder with the Skywalker Tech. Inc. insignia under his hand. Rey looked around and realized that she had ran all the way from Ben's apartment to her work.

"Rey..." Poe walked up to her, looking worried. "Are you okay?"

It was dark where Rey stood, and Poe was squinting, trying to see her better.

"I'm fine," Rey tried to hide her tears. "What are you doing here this time of the night?"

"I had to gather some papers," Poe smiled, but then frowned, finally seeing her. "Rey, what's wrong? You are crying."

"It's... nothing..." Rey sobbed, unable to hold her tears any longer. 

"Oh, God..." Poe sighed, rushing to her. "Honey, whatever it is, it's okay..." he hugged her by the shoulders, and Rey let him... She badly needed someone to comfort her.

And then she noticed another figure walking towards them.

"What's going on here?" Armitage Hux asked, frowning.

"Sweetie, something happened to Rey," Poe answered, still holding her. "I don't know..."

"Where have you been, Rey?" Hux interrupted his partner. "I mean, before you got here..."

Rey sobbed, not saying anything.

It was probably an awful idea to tell one of the board members that her condition had been caused by the behavior of another board member, one who had almost fucked her in their shared dream and then thrown her away from his apartment...

However, Hux surprised her.

"Were you at Ben's, Rey?" he asked, sounding kinder this time.

Rey looked up at him in surprise.

And then she nodded.

"We'll take you to our apartment, Rey," Hux stated. 

Poe hugged her tighter, obviously agreeing with his partner. "No, no, don't say a word," the redhead stopped her when she tried to interrupt him. "We need to talk, Rey... And this is very important for you, trust me..."

It was another large apartment in the center of the city that Rey would never be able to afford. However, unlike Ben's place, Poe and Armitage's studio was cozy.

There were plenty of photos on the walls, showing both Poe and Hux together and alone, surrounded by their friends and, probably, family.

When she entered, Rey was met by the sound of the dog's barking.

"Come here, little guy!" Poe called, and the giant bulldog rushed into the hallway, almost knocking Poe down.

"He is not so little anymore," Hux murmured.

"But he's our baby!"

Armitage only rolled his eyes, smiling at his soulmate.

Hux made Rey a cup of steaming hot tea and put some biscuits in front of her. Rey thanked him, and he only smiled at her sadly.

"Something is going on between you and Ben, Rey," Armitage started when Poe joined them at the kitchen island. Rey tensed. "No, no, don't worry," the redhead patted her hand. "You are not in trouble... But Ben... He is complicated... And I really want to know what caused this distress of yours... I guess, there's more to it than just a possible small fling."

Rey looked up at the man, remembering everything that had happened between her and Ben... Tears started to burn her eyes, and she sobbed.

"There, there..." Poe hugged her again, pulling her closer. "You can tell old Poe and Armie everything... We are here to listen, honey!"

Poe sounded so kind and so childish at the same time that Rey couldn't help but smile. Armitage smirked at the display in front of him and sipped his tea.

"So?" he urged.

"Ben's my soulmate..."

Pronouncing this out loud again hurt, and Rey wiped her tears. However, when her face was finally clean, Rey realized that Poe wasn't hugging her any longer. She looked at the men and realized that they’d both froze at her words.

"What?!" Hux hissed. "It's impossible..."

"Why?!" Rey couldn't stand another person telling her that she practically didn't exist. She was so damn furious now that Rey was losing it. "So you’re allowed to have a soulmate and I am not?! What..."

"No, no, honey!" Poe rushes to calm her down. He tried to hug Rey again, but she pulled back. However, his gesture made her remember herself.

"Rey," Armitage finally gathered his composure. "It's not that... You see... Ben's soulmate... When he was eighteen, we were spending our summer together. I had already met Poe by then... We've known each other since our early childhood, for God's sake," Hux stopped for a second to look at Poe who gave him a tender kiss. "And Ben... We knew he had seen his soulmate in his sleep, but he never spoke about her... Ben, however, was eager to sleep every night... We asked him once, and all he told us was that it wasn't time yet for him to meet... her... you... I don't know," Hux ran his hand through his hair. "Well... We assumed that she was younger and left him alone..."

"I'm ten years younger than him," Rey murmured, catching Hux's every word.

"You are," the redhead sighed. "But it's not that... You see, Rey, as I told you, when Ben was eighteen we were spending the summer together... And it was the summer when he almost died. He just fell down when we were chilling by the ocean, and started to convulse... We were terrified," Hux frowned at the memory, and Rey did the same, the image of dying Ben making her heart hurt. "We called an ambulance, and they took him to the hospital... The doctor told Ben and us that things like that happened... when someone's soulmate died..."

Rey gasped... 

It didn't make any sense! Why did that happen? She was here, she was here, safe and alive!

"But the most terrifying thing was," Hux went on. "That when Ben gained conscious, he looked... like he already knew what had happened... Even before the doctor told him about it... I tried to talk to him several times, but he just waved me off. He closed up... His parents and Luke were all out of town back then, and the only thing he asked of both Poe and me was to keep them away from it all..."

"Do they still not know?" Rey whispered.

"Oh, of course, they know!" Hux sighed. "After all, Ben started behaving strangely, starting from that summer. He had never shown them his soulmate and spent nights in clubs... He started using then, but he was already an adult, so we couldn't stop him or put him in rehab. Because no matter what, he always managed to function properly... However, it’s like he has been dead inside ever since..."

"But... But it’s impossible..." Rey whispered.

"What makes you so sure that he is your soulmate?"

Rey smiled bitterly. And then... Then she told them everything.

"It doesn't make any sense!" Poe cried out when Rey finished. "How did you manage to never meet in your sleep then?!"

"Ben sleeps at bizarre hours," Hux murmured. "What time do you usually get up, Rey?" he asked her.

"At around 6 a.m."

"And when do you go to bed?"

"Around 10 p.m. every day..."

"Ben usually gets home at 6 a.m." the redhead frowned. "And when he sleeps at all, it is usually two or three hours after work..."

"For fuck's sake," Poe rubbed his temples. "But this doesn't explain why Ben almost died back then..."

Silence fell over the kitchen.

"Tell me, Rey..." Hux finally said. "Did anything drastic happen to you when you were eight?"

Rey looked up at him in terror. And then, the dots started to connect in her head...

One hour later, Poe was pacing the room, while Hux was rubbing his eyes, trying to process everything that Rey had told them.

"Do you want some more tea?!" Poe almost jumped on Rey, and the woman realized that he was trying to do something... anything... to make up for everything that had happened to her in her childhood.

"I'm fine, Mr. Dameron," she smiled at him.

"Oh, cut this Mr. Dameron crap, girl!" he exclaimed. "It's Poe! You are practically our relative now!"

"He's right," Hux nodded. "Call me Armitage too..."

Rey smiled at this.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"We need to get you back to him before this moron does something stupid," Armitage stood from his chair finally. "Come on now... We'll drive back to Ben's apartment and talk to him."

Rey doubted that Ben would listen. However, Armitage sounded confident enough for her to decide to trust him.

She rose from her chair too and started to follow the redhead when an insufferable wave of pain hit her, and she fell on the floor, shouting.

"Rey!" Poe rushed to her. "Armitage!"

"Call the ambulance, Poe!" Hux rushed to them. "And another one to Ben's house!"

Dameron was already dialing 911 when he turned to his partner, looking at the redhead inquiringly.

"Ben's?" he asked.

"Yes," Hux stated. "He is dying."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!)


	6. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!
> 
> Sorry, this update is a bit late, but it's better late than never, right?
> 
> I returned home very late today (or early, it's 6 a.m. here now), so I decided to post before I go to sleep) I will answer your comments later, I promise. :)
> 
> Please, take notice that this chapter contains the description of past child abuse. Unkar didn't manage to actually do anything with Rey, but she had to har herself. If you are not comfortable with it, start reading from the word "Now". Rey gives a short description of what happened to her later.
> 
> And there's also a description of Overdose (mind the tags, guys), so if it triggers you, start from "He's here..." (italic).
> 
> I thank my lovely Beta [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/works) for her help and support with this!
> 
> And thank you, [Bluetoast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluetoast/pseuds/bluetoast/works) for the wonderful moodboard you made for me!

**Chapter 6.**

**Stay.**

**Eighteen years ago.**

Ben was in her room again. He still couldn't understand where she lived. He had tried to go around the place before, but it seemed that their connection didn't allow them much distance. All that Ben had figured out was that his girl lived with her foster father who invited his ugly friends over for booze quite often. It seemed they also played cards because sometimes Ben heard them swearing and accusing each other of fraud. 

His soulmate's room was tiny and seemed to be in the attic. Tonight was one of those nights when that bastard Unkar called his friends. Ben could hear disturbing noises coming from downstairs and was once again surprised at how sound asleep his girl was. She could sleep in any condition, it seemed. 

He looked around. Ben liked learning about the girl's day from the small hints she left before going to bed. 

She liked to draw. Ben often found her drawings here and there. Sometimes the girl fell asleep with her head on the table, and Ben saw her sleeping on the pictures she drew.

She also liked to read. Ben often found new books that she obviously took from the school library and hid under her bed. He wasn't sure why she did it but supposed that it was because of her foster father, who would yell at her for any reason he could find. 

His sunshine also did well at school. Ben found her backpack once and managed to pull out one of her notebooks from there. It wasn't effortless. You could move real objects while sleeping, but it required a lot of energy, and one could easily wake up in the process. But Ben had managed. He wanted to see the name on the notebook... Too bad he spent so much energy on grabbing it - the image was blurry, and Ben couldn't see the name... The only thing he could see were A+ marks almost on every page. Ben had tried again later, but it also hadn't worked...

Today there was another drawing laying on the table. Ben walked to it and gasped. It was a picture of a birthday cake. It seemed his girl had used every crayon she had to make this picture so colorful.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!" the inscription above the cake said. There were eight candles on the cake too...

She had a birthday today... She was turning eight... 

Ben sat by the girl's bed, looking at her.

He wanted to take her out of here. To protect her.

The girl was smiling in her sleep, and Ben smiled sadly as well. No matter what, nothing could kill the joy that radiated from his soulmate.

"Only eight more years, sweetheart," he whispered, knowing perfectly well that she couldn't hear him. "You'll see me in eight years, and I will take you away from here..."

She laughed in her sleep, and Ben's heart leaped with joy. He was ten years her senior, and he could only imagine how beautiful she would be when she grew up.

Suddenly, Ben heard a loud noise that came from behind the door. 

"WHERE ARE YOU, LITTLE BRAT?!" it was her foster father, and Ben tensed. The girl on the bed opened her eyes immediately, and Ben realized that he would wake up now. He was barely managing to stay asleep. 

The girl rushed to the door.

Ben wanted to help her, wanted to protect her... But he couldn't.

She tried to block the door with a chair, but Unkar knocked it out.

The girl shrieked and tried to hide, but the bastard grabbed her.

Ben was ready to scream.

"HEY!" He yelled to somebody downstairs. "You wanted the bitch?! Take her!"

"NO!" the girl cried, trying to get out.

"Shut up!"

The girl fought the man, but he was too huge for her. Ben was losing his mind. It was a miracle he was able to stay asleep.

Suddenly the girl bit the man, and he cried out in pain, releasing her.

"YOU BITCH!" the girl ran, and Unkar rushed after her.

Ben followed them.

"RUN! RUN SUNSHINE!" he was crying, but she couldn't hear him.

It was the first time Ben was this far away from his soulmate's room. The girl ran up the narrow stairs by her door, Unkar and Ben chasing her.

And then they were outside.

Ben looked around, realizing that they were standing on the roof of a rusty house in the middle of a junkyard. He could see his girl, who stopped for some reason. 

Ben looked closer and gasped.

The girl was standing on the edge of the roof. Unkar cornered her.

"And what are you going to do now, little bitch?" the bastard growled. "Come over here! You'd better show my friends and me some respect!"

The girl was crying. She looked behind her, but Ben realized that they were too high above the ground now. It was suicide to jump...

"I SAID, COME HERE!" Unkar shouted.

And then something terrible happened. The girl looked at her foster father once again and then took a step back. 

"NO!!!" Ben cried, rushing to the edge of the roof.

All he could see before he woke up in unbearable pain was the small figure of his sunshine, lying on the ground, a large stain of blood spreading under her.

**Now.**

His soulmate was dead. Ben had watched her die and had spent a week in the hospital after. 

Rey had just run away, and Ben was going insane. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he stop dreaming at all?! And how the hell had she gotten into his head, into his dream?!

Was it because he had managed to learn how to stay in the dream while his soulmate was already awake? Had he broken something in his head? Was that the reason why Rey was able to share a dream with him?

She resembled his girl so much, for fuck's sake! It was torture!

It was like all that pain from years ago had returned and was now tormenting Ben. The vision of a bloodstain under that child, under the only person with whom Ben was meant to be, made him writhe on the floor, howling.

He couldn't take it any longer. No amount of coke or alcohol would help.

Ben rose from the floor, shaking, and rushed to the bathroom.

There was an extra stash there... Something much stronger than coke...

Ben had never used heroin before. He had seen what it did to a person and was afraid that if he didn't kill himself with a fix, his family would be able to put him to rehab.

Now, however, he didn't care.

Ben wasn't new to using syringes. He had never actually liked them. It wasn’t the pain he disliked, but the puncture marks that were visible, and Ben didn't want to draw any additional attention to himself. Now, making a solution for himself, he was watching at the syringe as if it were his last and only hope.

The drugs worked quickly. Ben was lying on his bathroom floor as the world around him slowly faded.

...

_"He's here!!!"_

...

_"Oh, for fuck's sake!"_

...

_"Mrs. Organa, let us do our job!"_

_"It's my son!"_

_"Yes, and he's dying, for God's sake! _

_..._

They were taking him somewhere. Ben was obviously lying on something... a gurney?... It was moving through a corridor, and the light from the lamps on the ceiling hurt his eyes.

"He's awake!" someone said. "Mr. Solo, can you hear me?"

"Argh..." was all Ben was able to say. 

He fainted again.

Ben opened his eyes to the sound of beeping. Something beeped by his side and every sound this thing made hit Ben like a hammer to the head. 

"Turn it... off..." he moaned hoarsely.

"Sorry, kid, if your heart stops again, we need to know about it..."

The sound of his father's voice wasn't something Ben expected to hear. He opened his eyes, squinting, and saw Han Solo and Leia Organa standing by his bed.

Ben's mother's eyes were puffy, and Han's jaw was working. Ben recognized these facial expressions of his parents from when he had been a child.

He was in trouble.

"Are you fucking insane, Ben?!" Leia suddenly exclaimed, and Ben's head exploded from the sound. His mother barely swore, but she was obviously losing it right now. "Heroin?! Tell me, are you fucking insane?! You almost killed yourself, and Rey is in a coma now, what..."

"Give the kid some rest," Han stopped his wife. "There's no point in shouting at him now... He's already barely alive..."

Leia sobbed, and Ben's father hugged her by the shoulders, but it was not his parents that made him worried sick.

"Rey?..." he whispered.

Both Han and Leia looked at him, frowning.

"She lost consciousness the minute your heart stopped for the first time," Leia whispered. "You know what it is, don't you, Ben?"

"How... what is?"

"Ben... Your soulmate is not dead..."

Silence fell over the room.

"No," Ben whispered hoarsely. "No, it's impossible... I saw..."

"There was an accident, Ben... I have no idea what you saw or how you were able to see anything at all once Rey woke up, but your soulmate is alive..."

"NO!!!" Ben shouted, although the action made him almost faint again. "NO!!! GET OUT!!!"

"Call the doctor," Han told Leia, but the doctor was already there.

"NURSE! WE NEED A SEDATIVE HERE!"

The last thing Ben remembered was his mother caressing his cheek, telling him:

"You'll have to go to rehab, Ben... You'll sleep and figure everything out."

***

The pain was excruciating. It was like Rey was being torn apart and then put back together only to be torn apart again... and again... and again...

And then it stopped. There was nothing but darkness and loneliness for several seconds that felt like an eternity. And then Rey opened her eyes.

She was lying in a hospital bed, lots of wires and tubes connected to her body. She could barely move. Rey tried to speak but wasn't able to... There was a tube in her throat.

"Rey, darling!" she was surprised to hear Leia's voice by her side. "Don't move, sweetheart... I'll call the doctor."

The doctor came, and they removed the tube from Rey's throat.

It hurt, and Rey coughed severely. 

"Careful, Miss Niima," the doctor smiled at her kindly. "You'll be fine, but your throat is going to hurt a bit for quite some time."

Rey nodded.

When the doctor left, she turned to Leia, who was still by her side.

"Darling," Leia, smiled, taking Rey's hand. "I'm so sorry..."

"Sorry?" Rey whispered hoarsely, her every word causing her pain.

"For my moron of a son," Leia sighed. 

"Is he..."

"Alive," Leia hurried to assure her. "He's alive and in rehab now... Rey... let me speak as long as it's complicated for you, okay?"

Rey nodded, grateful for Leia's concern and understanding.

"You spent one week in a coma," Mrs. Organa sighed. "This happens when your soulmate is dying... I now realize that the same thing happened to Ben eighteen years ago," Leia raised her brow, smiling sadly at Rey's surprised face. "Poe and Armitage told me what happened... Ben is still in denial, though..."

Rey looked up at the old woman, hurt. What was wrong with him?! It seemed, her situation with Ben couldn't be helped, after all... She wanted to cry. Tears started to roll down her face.

"Honey, don't cry," Leia sat on the bed, caressing her cheek. "You were in a coma, and couldn't dream at all... And, you know... They make him sleep there..."

At first, Rey didn't understand what Leia was implying...

But then it hit her. Rey looked up at the woman, her eyes open wide.

"I was coming here every day to see if you were awake," Mrs. Organa smiled. "And we'll talk more later... But today, honey, you need to sleep... You desperately need to sleep..."

***

Ben hadn't slept for two days when they gave him a sedative. When they _made him take_ that fucking sedative.

"It's a mild one, Mr. Solo," the doctor smiled at him when Ben's eyes were already closing. "You will still be able to dream..."

He wished he wouldn't...

And then he opened his eyes in a hospital room.

Ben looked around, trying to understand why this place seemed so familiar. He realized that it looked a lot like the hospital room where he had spent several days after he overdosed. 

Why was he here?

"Ben?" her voice made him shiver.

He turned to the sound of it and saw Rey sitting on the hospital bed... Next to her, her body lay. There were so many tubes attached to it that Ben was terrified... It didn't look good at all...

He turned his gaze back to the other Rey and frowned. They were in the same dream together... Again... Ben growled.

"I told you to get out of..."

"Eighteen years ago I jumped from the roof and almost died," Rey suddenly said, and it took him several seconds to process her words.

"Wha..."

"My foster father wanted to give me to his friends... To rape me... I ran away, he cornered me, and I jumped..." tears were rolling down Rey's face, and Ben couldn't form words.

This couldn't be...

"You said..." he murmured. "You said your foster mother's name was Maz..." he whispered.

"Maz took me after I moved around a dozen foster homes," Rey sobbed. "I... I broke my back, falling from the roof... They took me from Unkar... Unkar Plutt... I couldn't walk for a year... Then I managed to walk again, but I limped... No one wanted a sick child..." It was hard for her to speak, and Ben took a hesitant step towards her. His heart was beating like a hammer in his chest. "And Maz took me and helped me to start walking properly again. I still... My back still hurts sometimes..."

Ben couldn't believe his ears... It was all too much for him...

Rey, Rey was his girl...

And he had made her suffer.

Not able to think properly, he fell to his knees in front of her, hugging her legs, crying.

"Why the fuck didn't you sleep?!" Rey sobbed loudly.

"I'm sorry," Ben whispered. "Rey, I'm so sorry..."

"Why..."

"I thought I lost you... You were so precious... And I saw you dying... I thought..."

She pulled him up, urging Ben to stand on his feet. Once he did, he towered over her, the difference in their heights making him feel huge next to her.

"It fucking hurt, Ben," Rey nodded towards her sleeping form. "You know how much it hurt!"

"Rey, I'm so sorry..."

He repeated it like a broken record, not really sure of what he could do.

And then Rey wrapped her arms around his torso and buried her face in his chest.

"I hate you," she sobbed.

"I... I know," he hugged her back, caressing the crown of Rey's hair, his heart aching from her words.

"Don't leave me... please..." she whispered then. "I don't want to be alone, Ben... I... I promise I'm good... I am not repulsive or..."

"Rey," he stopped her ranting, pulling her face up by the chin. "Please, stop it, sweetheart... There's nothing wrong with you... You are fucking perfect..."

She gasped, looking him in the eyes. And then, bold as always, she stood on her tip-toes and kissed him.

It was cathartic not to fight it this time, and for the first time in almost two decades, Ben was happy that he was asleep.

Rey tasted sweet, the way he remembered her tasting. Now, every little detail of their previous encounters was vivid in front of his eyes. How could he have denied their bond for so long?!

Their kiss wasn't passionate. It was so tender that Ben would have felt like crying if he hadn't been crying already. This kiss was just the way it should have been if Ben had waited for Rey to turn 16. He would have found her. He would have taken her with him, made her live in his home. He would have courted her when she got older, and he would have taken her on proper dates... He would have married her…

He still wanted to marry Rey if she would have him, but, oh, God, how many years he had missed!

Now, she was kissing him, so fragile, beloved, and beautiful, and Ben could taste their shared tears on his tongue.

"Love," he finally pulled back, making Rey shiver at the word he hadn't even noticed he was using. It was so natural. "Sweetheart, are you in pain?" He had to know... All those tubes attached to her body looked ugly.

"I..." she turned to the bed too. "I've been better... But the doctor said I will be able to function more or less properly in a week... Are you...?"

"In rehab," he nodded.

She hugged him tighter, her scent filling Ben's nostrils.

"You probably shortened your life by a decade with all those drugs," she murmured.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop being sorry," she hissed. "I want you alive and healthy... And with a bed in your apartment."

He couldn't believe he could smile after everything that had happened between them.

"I love you..." he murmured, and Rey pulled back from him.

"You gotta be kidding me..."

This was so like her... The irony and sarcasm after he had ripped his heart from his chest and brought it on a platter to her... However, Ben knew why Rey was reacting like this. He could feel her now, after all. Rey was just as terrified as he was, and her irony was a coping mechanism.

"I'm not," he shook his head. "I loved you from the first time I saw you..."

"I was six..."

"You were... It was different back then... Like you were a part of me or something..."

She sighed, and they spent several minutes in silence.

"I think I know what you mean..." she finally said. "I am in the same boat, after all..." 

Ben lowered his head a bit to kiss her. 

"It's different now," Ben whispered.

"How?"

"It’s like I literally hurt whenever you are not near..."

"That... That sounds painful," Rey sounded worried. "It's not supposed to be painful..."

"It's because I made it painful."

"You are a moron."

Ben smirked at that.

"Yes... Yes, I am..."

They stood together in the silence of their shared dream, and Ben felt a bit hurt about the fact that Rey had not said “I love you” back. 

Well, he was the one to blame for that.

"Where... Where do we go from here?" she asked hesitantly.

He sighed.

"Do you want to... Do you still want me, Rey?" he had to ask this question. And Ben prayed to God that Rey would say "yes".

"Do I want you to what? To make me mad with all your shit at work," she smirked.

"Don't be a brat," he growled.

She laughed, and Ben was ready to kiss the ground under her feet.

"I guess we don't have a choice..." she murmured. "I am meant to love you, after all..."

Those words made Ben's heart skip a beat.

"You..."

"This is crazy, right?" she looked up at him, with so much anxiety in her eyes that he couldn't help but pull her closer and hug her tighter.

"What is?"

"I mean... Would we still feel the same had we not been soulmates?" she asked.

Ben took a minute to think about her question.

"I don't think you would be able to like me," he finally smirked sadly. "So I guess I am lucky..."

"I'm serious here!" she exclaimed, pulling back and smacking his arm.

Ben laughed, pulling her back to him.

"Rey," he frowned then. "Outside of this dream, I am a recovering drug-addict... I am a mess... And truth be told, I should feel really sorry for you..."

"You are right," she whispered, and Ben felt hurt again.

Once again, Rey had every right to say that...

"You are right," she suddenly went on. "You should feel really sorry for me, because I'm managed to fucking fall in love with you..."

"Rey..." He couldn't believe his ears.

"However," she interrupted him. "I won't repeat it again until you woo me into it, you moron..."

"I'll do whatever it takes," he whispered hoarsely.

"Then you need to recover," Rey kissed his jawline, and he caught her lips with his. "Because... I mean... Does it really matter if we are soulmates or not? Our world has its cruel laws, but isn't it beautiful that there's always someone for you... Even if he is such a mess?" she laughed, kissing him before he could take offense. "Sorry..." she smiled coyly. 

"You are a handful sometimes too, and a brat," Ben grumbled.

"I am. But I want you to be healthy... And alive... And sleeping well... Preferably with me..."

He looked down at her. Ben could feel their bond singing now, their connection becoming stronger with every minute. He lifted Rey from the floor and sat on the sofa by the wall. She curled up in his lap, and Ben couldn't believe this was all true...

"Rey?" he asked, remembering something.

"Hm?"

"Do you remember what you told me when we... were together in my kitchen in that dream?"

"Which part?" her whisper was hoarse, and Ben realized that Rey understood what he meant.

"Are you... Are you a virgin?"

She gasped before answering:

"Yes..." she sounded shy and embarrassed, and Ben hugged her tighter.

"Rey, I'm sorry..." he whispered.

"For what this time?"

"For not waiting for you too..."

She laughed as always, and Ben looked up at her inquiringly.

"That would make you a forty-year-old virgin, and I wouldn't be that flattered."

Ben pinched her this time.

"Ouch!"

"You had it coming."

"Moron!"

"Brat!"

"I love you..."

Rey kissed him, not saying it back again, but Ben remembered her reason. He would recover. He would go through as many withdrawals as needed if it meant he could get back to her. If it meant that he could finally be with his girl. His little ray of sunshine who’d grown up to become a beautiful woman.

He would fight the addiction. And he would win that fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	7. I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!
> 
> Thank you for your marvelous comments! Two more chapters to go!
> 
> Thank you, [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/works) for your help with this and for your support and patience!)

** **

**Chapter 7.**

**I love you.**

The recovery was not a quick process. Ben learned this the hard way.

Withdrawals were painful and exhausting, and he could barely move when another wave of vomit hit him... The doctors said that his condition was complicated by the fact that he had been neglecting his bond for so long.

Ben was ready to suffer. He took every moment of pain with gratitude. His pain was his redemption. His soulmate had suffered for too long... And he wanted to...

"You're an idiot!"

Rey was sitting on his bed, on her knees, leaning on the mattress.

He had fallen asleep.

"Sweetheart..."

"Your mother says you don't want to take anything to ease your pain," she crossed her hands in front of her chest, not letting him hug her.

"I... I don't want to take any medicine when..."

"It's not that," Rey cut him.

Ben sighed.

There was no point in lying to his soulmate. Even without their bond, Rey had learned to read him quite easily. And very quickly.

"You are fucking punishing yourself, Ben," she hissed, and he sat on the bed by her side, lowering his eyes.

"I..." he wanted to lie but reconsidered immediately. "You are right."

For a second everything was quiet. And then, Rey crawled closer to him and hugged Ben by the shoulders.

"Hey," she whispered tenderly. "Stop it, you moron..."

He looked up at her and couldn't help but smile.

"How are you, sweetheart?" he asked, finally pulling her closer and burying his face in her hair.

"I got on my feet today," she murmured, and Ben cursed inwardly, hating the fact that he couldn't be with her when she was struggling. "I sleep a lot now, so it helps... They say I am recovering much faster than they expected."

"I'm sorry that I am not there with you," he murmured.

"Yeah... Me too..."

Ben finally agreed to take something for the pain when he woke up.

He started to feel better in a week. His parents visited him every other day, and Ben noticed that they were happier every time they came.

"Rey is such a wonderful girl!" his mother finally exploded.

Han rolled his eyes, and Ben smirked, realizing that Leia had been keeping that to herself for far too long.

"I know," Ben leaned back in his chair. They were sitting in the waiting area of his rehab center. It was full of light, and would be quite cozy had Ben not been wearing the fucking uniform. He felt stupid in the cotton gray sweatpants and matching T-shirt.

"Do you..." his mother started hesitantly. "See each other?"

"I sleep now," Ben frowned.

"And the rest is none of our fucking business, darling!" Han laughed.

"Language!" Leia hissed.

"Okay, okay!" Han waved her off. "But, son, I must say that your mother is right. Rey is amazing..."

"Will you marry her soon?"

"Mom!"

"Oh, fine, fine!"

Han was laughing hard now, and Ben couldn't help but smile at him. His parents were there for him. They had probably not been too close since the summer when Rey got hurt, but they were getting closer now... And Ben was ready to fight for his relationship with his parents, too.

That night he found himself in a place he didn't know.

"I would throw you a welcome party, but I had no time to cook," Rey's voice caught him off guard, and Ben almost jumped out of his pants.

"Rey," he smiled, catching his breath. Were they breathing for real while asleep? Ben wasn't sure, but he loved the way his girl smelled.

"Welcome!" she smiled, kissing him on the lips.

Once they parted, Ben looked around.

"Is this..."

"My apartment, yeah," Rey smiled.

"It's... tiny..."

"Hey!" she smacked him, pulling away.

"Wait!" he tried to catch her but wasn't able to do it. "Rey!"

"At least I have a bed," she pouted, crossing her hands in front of her chest - the gesture Ben had learned to love so much already.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "Will you give me a tour?"

Rey had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room of her tiny place. Her apartment was so small that they were able to walk around it.

"Heeeeeere's my kitchen, full of food, dare I notice!" Rey smiled cheerfully, and Ben rolled his eyes at her tease. "What? You should know that I love food!"

Ben pulled her closer.

"I will feed you well..."

"I'd love that..." Rey whispered. "Food... It's practically my fetish. I never got enough when I was a child. So I eat a lot... I... I think you should know that..."

Again and again, his heart hurt like hell...

Ben kissed her, lifting Rey up, feeling her body relax in his arms.

"Ben..." she whispered into their kiss.

"Which way..."

"This way..."

Her bedroom was tiny as well, but very cozy. Ben's own apartment looked abandoned, but Rey's... Rey's felt like home.

However, Ben didn't really have time to linger on the sight of it.

He carried Rey to the small bed by the window. In a second she was on it, and he was above her, kissing Rey's neck. She was so damn delicious! He'd been with different women, but none of them were like Rey. Ben didn't give a damn about whether it was because she was his soulmate or not. Rey was gorgeous. 

"Ben," Rey called his name again, and he remembered himself. 

He was so fucking lost in her.

"Shit," he cursed as she moved under him, and his rock-hard boner rubbing her thigh.

She smirked.

"Excited, are we?"

"You little tease..." he tried his best not to move, because if he did, it would be complicated for him to stop...

She was a virgin, for fuck's sake... And Ben had to compose himself. He didn't want their first time to happen in a dream, no matter how tempting it was...

"I..." Rey whispered.

"I'm sorry, love... You are just too delicious..."

She smirked and suddenly wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer. Ben wasn't expecting this, so he fell on her, barely managing to land by her side and not on top of her. Rey's legs were still wrapped around him, so they were still somehow tangled.

"I don't want our first time to be in a dream, sweetheart," Ben whispered hoarsely.

"Me neither," she smiled slyly. "But I do love... to tease you..."

She made a pause, and Ben almost thought that Rey would have confessed by now. But his Rey was such a sweet tease!

"Okay, honey," he growled. "I won't fuck you today, sweet thing, but... you had it coming!"

He flipped her over onto her back, and Rey squeaked, laughing.

"And what are you going to do, you beast?" she whispered.

Ben didn't answer. Instead, he pulled her t-shirt off of her, until she was lying in her bra under him. Good thing that clothes in a dream could be taken off easily.

Ben held his breath. She was a vision, both literally and metaphorically, because they were both still dreaming.

"I love you..." Ben whispered hoarsely before attacking her breasts, tearing her bra apart.

Rey moaned, arching her back, pushing her nipple into his mouth.

Ben sucked it, feeling the small thing hardening at the ministration of his tongue.

Rey moaned louder, and he bit her lightly, reaching for her leggings.

Ben moved lower, kissing her belly before pulling the leggings off.

He made Rey bend her knees, hearing her gasp softly at his action.

"Hush, baby," he blew on Rey's cunt, watching it squeeze in front of his eyes.

"Ben!" she moaned.

"Relax, Rey, I know what I'm doing."

He couldn't resist the pull of her pussy any longer. Burying his nose in Rey's warm folds, Ben started to eat her out as if his life depended on it.

"Aaaah!" Rey moaned, and he had to steady her, not to lose the spot he found that gave her additional pleasure. He could feel it in his body, too, and he was losing it.

Ben sucked on Rey's folds before moving to her pearl. His tongue knew what it was doing. It curled around Rey's clit and pressed the tiniest spots that brought his girl closer and closer to the edge. 

It was bliss.

Finally, she moaned so loudly that if it had been outside of the dream, Ben would’ve probably woken up. But they were here, together, with his head between her legs, and Rey's hand in his hair, pulling it.

He moved up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before kissing her. It was primal and carnal, to let her taste herself on his tongue, but Ben could feel that Rey enjoyed every single second of it.

"It's... It's not fair," Rey whispered, panting heavily when Ben pulled her closer.

"Why?"

"You are too dressed, and you know the answer."

"Well," Ben laughed. "I felt your orgasm too, sweetheart..."

"Perks of being soulmates, I guess," she smirked.

"Hm..."

Suddenly, Ben almost jumped from the bed, and Rey opened her eyes in a flash.

"Whaaat?!" 

There was a unicorn standing in the center of the bedroom. It was pink, with an unbelievably long, shiny horn and giant wings.

"Oh!" Rey laughed. "Meet Tiny."

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Rey took his hand, and it was exactly what he needed to calm down. Ben was on the verge of waking up.

"I used to see dozens of them... It was a coping mechanism of a sort... Because you weren't sleeping..."

Ben gulped, looking at the giant flying horse. He couldn't process this at all.

"Can... Can we make him go?" he whispered, terrified.

They lay together in bed, Rey still laughing at Ben's reaction.

"It's not funny," he grumbled.

"I think it's hilarious," Rey smirked.

"It was a fucking pink flying horse!"

"Tiny is lovely!"

They would never agree on this...

Good thing that Ben calmed down really quickly.

"Rey?" Ben finally asked.

"Hm?"

"How... How are you feeling?"

"Sated."

He smirked at that before frowning. He was ashamed he hadn't asked her earlier.

"Not now. I mean, outside of this dream."

Rey stretched in his arms.

"You know that my body wasn't physically hurt, right?" she kissed his chest. He was still fully clothed and could only feel Rey's lips through the fabric. He nodded. "Well, my body is adjusting to the bond that was almost destroyed, but as long as there is no place in my body that is actually injured, it starts to hurt here and there all the time. But it's bearable now. And it's getting better every day. For example, I had no problem falling asleep today... Actually, my doctor said that I will be sleeping more now because it's also a coping mechanism of a sort. I feel good in my sleep... And you can be here with me... You make me feel better."

"I'm sorry..." his voice trembled. He hated himself for making her suffer so much.

"Ben?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"I am on a paid sick leave for a month... Your mother made sure I would get some rest..."

"Good..." Leia had told him about it. The woman clearly wanted to see Rey as her daughter-in-law already and was talking about Rey as if she were her own child. The woman didn't care if the company's policies didn't allow the employees to have a paid sick leave for more than two weeks per year. Ben knew that Leia would do everything possible to make Rey's career flourish.

Ben was happy about it. Rey was brilliant, so why not use the connections she now had because of their bond? They would talk about it later. Ben had asked his mother not to rush anything. He was afraid that Rey would be scared off by the Organa-Solo way of dealing with life.

"Can I..." Rey hesitated for a moment, and Ben hugged her tighter. "Can I come for a visit tomorrow?" she finally asked.

Ben tensed immediately, and his tension filled their bond, making Rey frown.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, clearly upset.

"No, no, Rey, stop," Ben hurried to calm her down. He had to explain. "It's just..." he gulped. "I am a mess now... Outside of our dreams... I look like shit, and I still feel like shit. I can barely walk now, spending days sitting."

"You lost weight," Rey whispered, caressing his abdomen.

"I did... Well, my body refuses to take food normally. The doctors say that it will get better soon, but..."

Rey was waiting patiently for him to proceed.

"I don't want you to be disappointed..."

Rey waited for a moment before kissing him.

"Ben?" she called, making him look down at her. "I don't fucking care, you moron."

Meeting for the first time after his overdose and Rey's coma was awkward in the beginning. Leia had arranged their meeting, and Rey was now sitting next to him on the bench in the park near the rehab.

They kept quiet. Ben was so happy to see her but had no idea what to say. He could feel Rey's tension through their bond, and every second of it made him crave for a fix just to stop it. She was so beautiful and looked so fresh, even though Rey sometimes frowned from the pain that still tormented her. 

"This was probably a bad idea," he growled, running his hand through his hair.

Rey sighed.

And then she moved and crawled into Ben's lap, burying her face in his chest.

The body connection made their bond sing, and Ben felt... He felt so fucking relieved.

They sat together in silence some more, but this time it was a comfortable silence. Everything was falling into place when Rey was near.

"Can you..." Ben finally spoke. "Can you tell me about your childhood?" he asked.

It wasn't an easy subject, but this meeting wasn’t going to be easy. They had to bond for real. Rey and Ben were soulmates, and that meant that they were two halves of a whole... And it seemed that their whole was broken. It was broken and needed to be mended.

Rey spoke.

She told him everything about her years in the foster system, about the worst homes and the best homes where she had lived. She told him about Maz.

Ben could feel her now, and they were going through everything together. Surprisingly, it helped a lot. Ben felt like Rey's wounds were being healed... And so were his.

"I don't know how to... how to live a life," Ben murmured, kissing Rey's forehead. "I... I've been using since I was eighteen... Drinking too... I don't know how to sleep normal hours. Or how to..."

"I'll teach you," Rey interrupted him. Ben looked at her, feeling the warmth spreading through his chest. Rey smiled at him. "You'll need to learn how to cope with your addiction, this is something you'll have to do yourself, I can't be watching you all the time..." Ben nodded at this. She was right. He couldn't use Rey like that... That was something the therapist he saw in rehab had told him too. "But I'll be there for you... To show you how this life works... You need a teacher Ben..."

"I do," he whispered, tears starting to burn his eyes.

"Well, I'm here for you."

He was so in love with her that it hurt.

"I stopped drinking," Rey suddenly said. Ben looked at her inquiringly. "Nah, I've never drank too much," she smirked. "But I won't be drinking any longer. There will be no alcohol in our life. I... I've started to read some articles..."

"Rey," Ben frowned. "You don't have to. Please..."

"Oh, shut up!" Rey smirked. "We are talking about alcohol here. It's not the healthiest thing in the world... It won't hurt me not to drink, and it's essential for you not to have anything to tempt you. So, we'll live a healthy, sober life... We'll try, at least..."

"I love you," tears were rolling down his face, and Ben couldn't hold them back any longer.

"Hey, big guy." Rey caressed his cheek. "Don't cry... Everything will be alright, I promise..."

Ben managed to calm down, and they spent another hour on the bench. The weather was nice. There was no wind, and despite that it was already autumn, and the trees around them were losing leaves, it was comfortable outside.

Finally, Rey had to go, and Ben let her stand up from his lap reluctantly.

"I want to take a selfie!" she exclaimed.

Ben raised his brow at her.

"How old are you?" he smirked.

"Oh, shut up! I want to have a photo of us!"

That made his heart melt all over again, and he let Rey press her cheek to his while she was taking a photo with the frontal camera of her phone. Ben thought that he looked like a mess... But Rey beamed with light so brightly that he didn't give a damn.

"Okay!" she exclaimed, laughing. "We look great!"

"You look great, I look like shit," Ben grumbled, and she hugged him again.

"You are asking for a compliment, aren't you?" Rey smirked.

Ben rolled his eyes.

He spent three months in rehab. Luke covered for him at work, and according to Rey, no one knew where Ben was. Leia made it look like it was a lengthy business trip to Europe. There were rumors, as far as Ben understood, but people always talked. That made him calmer somehow... Ben was ashamed of his condition...

Rey was promoted to Junior Engineer and was now working in Ben's department. Ben was worried that she would have trouble with employee gossip when he returned, and everyone would know about their bond, but Rey had waved him off.

"Haters gonna hate," she shrugged, and the discussion was over.

According to Leia, Rey did a marvelous job and deserved to have her new position even if she hadn't been "her future daughter-in-law". Ben always rolled his eyes at this, and Han always laughed. However, he would have married his girl today, if he hadn't been such a mess.

Rey visited him every day. The rehab staff knew her now, and Ben and Rey spent hours together. After Rey returned to work, she could only visit him in the evenings, but she was always there.

"Rey?" Ben asked her once. "Can I ask you for something?"

"Sure," they were sitting inside this time because it was the beginning of November, and it was too cold to sit outside.

"Can you... Can you buy me a bed?" he asked, his voice sounding hoarse.

Rey pulled back a little from him, looking surprised.

"Well... Sure..." she shrugged. "But... Don't you want to choose it yourself?"

"I have no idea how a bed should look or feel like... I am okay with the bed I have here, and I don't really care... Please... Take my credit card and buy... whatever you like... Maybe choose something big, I..." he stammered, not really sure if it was okay for him to ask.

"You... what?" Rey smirked slyly. His girl could feel his discomfort, as always, and probably knew what it was all about.

"I want us both to fit into it," he blurted, and Rey laughed, her cheeks blushing crimson. "Don't laugh at me now," Ben murmured, embarrassed. He'd been with different women, but now, speaking to Rey about sleeping with her, he felt like a virgin again.

What if he couldn't perform? What if she was hurt and disappointed?

Never in his life had Ben felt this concerned.

"Hey, big guy," he loved so much when Rey called him that. "I can feel your concern," she whispered. "I will buy you a bed, and you will teach me what to do in it."

The night before he had to leave the rehab, Ben found his dream self in his apartment... In his bedroom... Ben was watching the city skyline when Rey's voice sounded from behind his back.

"I hoped that we would spend the night here," she smiled at him.

Ben turned to her and gasped. Rey was wearing a silk chemise that fit her body like a glove. He could see her hard nipples, so erect, they looked as if they were trying to cut the material apart.

He gulped.

"Sweetheart..."

"You know I am a tease?" Rey bit her lip. "And I wanted to give you a hint of what is waiting for you at home."

That was the moment Ben realized that Rey had fallen asleep on a giant bed. Her body was sleeping soundly by her side.

"Do you like it?" Rey asked worriedly.

"I..." Ben remembered himself. "I love it, Rey!"

She walked closer to him, smirking.

"I'm so glad..." she purred. 

Rey was so close, and suddenly Ben felt her hand on his rock-hard shaft.

"I recall you being worried that you wouldn't be able to perform..." she smirked. "Well," she put her hand in his pants, making Ben growl at the feeling of her palm on his flesh. "I think we won't have problems, big guy..."

And then, something unexpected happened. Rey fell on her knees, pulling Ben's sweatpants down. He wanted to stop her, but she didn't let him.

"I want to try it," she told him strictly. "And you will let me try it."

His cock was standing proudly, and Ben wasn't sure if it would fit into Rey's small mouth. He knew she had never tried anything like this and he was dizzy from the realization that he would be the first (and the last, he would make sure of it) man to fuck her mouth.

And then Rey licked him...

Ben held his breath, trying not to come.

Her tongue was so damn hot!

"Rey..." he whispered hoarsely.

"Shh..." she stopped him. And then she took his cock into her mouth.

"For fuck's sake!!!" Ben exclaimed as Rey started to suck him deeper and deeper.

She was unpracticed, he could say. Sometimes Ben could feel her teeth scraping his flesh, but it only aroused him more. He looked down at her. Rey sucked him so eagerly that Ben's eyes rolled into his skull.

"God, baby..."

Suddenly Rey took him so deep into her mouth that it made her gag. Ben felt his cock touching the back of Rey's throat and that threw him over the edge. He came like he had never come before. Rey took everything he gave her, sucking him deeper and swallowing every drop of his seed.

Ben fell on his knees next to her, and grabbed Rey, pulling her closer.

"Love..." He whispered. "I love you... I fucking love you!"

"Did I do good?" she smirked in his arms.

"You are perfect, Rey... Fucking perfect..."

They lay on the floor, Ben coming back to his senses. 

"Let me take care of you..." he finally whispered. "I want to make you come too, Rey."

She kissed him.

"My period has just started," she smiled. "I'm not sure if it works the same dreams, but I'm also not sure I'm ready to check yet."

"Sweetheart..." It didn't seem fair...

"Ben, I want you to want me," Rey's smile became sly again. "I want you to crave me... To dream about having me..."

"I already dream about having you all the time," Ben growled. "Every time I sleep, and you are not there, I am ravishing you in my dreams... My dick is hard, almost 24/7..."

"It's quite soft now," Rey smirked.

"Should I be offended?"

She laughed with the laugh that always made Ben's heart melt.

"Never."

Ben returned home the next day. Rey was there to meet him outside of the rehab with his parents.

She smiled so brightly...

Together, they all brought Ben to his apartment. Han and Leia found an immediate excuse to leave, letting Ben spend some time with his soulmate. She smiled at him shyly and entered the building, following him. 

When Ben opened the door, he noticed that something had changed while he was away. Ben walked around the rooms, and then it hit him... There were plants all around the place... And pictures on the walls... And curtains on the windows...

"I... I hope you don't mind me bringing this all here," Rey asked him, lowering her eyes. "Your apartment... It looked so empty..."

Ben would have probably never bought any of the items Rey had purchased, but surprisingly he loved it in here now.

"It's okay," he whispered, pulling Rey closer. "Change this place however you like, Rey... I want you to live here, after all."

Rey kissed his chest.

"I don't want to move in here just yet," she murmured, and Ben felt like he was falling apart. "No, no!" she hurried to calm him down immediately. "I want you... I want to be with you... I just want to take things slowly..."

"Of course," Ben could give her that. "I understand, sweetheart..."

That night Rey cooked for him. Ben was sitting at his kitchen island, eating the best fettuccine alfredo in his life.

"Where did you learn how to cook?" he asked, amazed.

"Google," Rey shrugged. "I love food..."

He asked her more about her favorite dishes, noting everything she was telling him. He was going to spoil his girl.

After their dinner, Rey brought him something.

"I hope you don't mind..." she murmured, giving Ben a photo frame with a photo in it.

It was the selfie she had taken at the rehab... The first photo of them.

Ben felt tears burning his eyes again.

"It's perfect," he whispered. "I love it..."

"I..." Rey stammered then. "I also threw out all the energy drinks and coffee I could find..."

Ben frowned... Not because he wanted to have it all at home, but because they had to get rid of something else too...

"Rey?" he called, and she looked at him inquiringly. "I want you to help me destroy my stash..."

He could see that it took her a moment to process what he had just said.

And then she simply nodded.

"Show me..."

They threw away everything he had in his apartment. Ben didn't hide anything from Rey, so they destroyed what must’ve cost around 500 thousand dollars of drugs. 

"Is that all?" Rey asked after an hour.

"It is," Ben rubbed the back of his head. "Sweetheart?"

"Yes?"

"Can you stay here tonight? I promise I won't try anything... I... I just need you here today... Please?"

Rey looked at him for several seconds and nodded.

"Sure."

The following morning was the best in Ben's entire life...

He returned to work. Rey was working in his department now, and Ben was happy to see her by his side every day. They kept their relationship a secret for now, and it was a problem... For Ben...

"Ben!" Rey cried when he dragged her to his office and covered her lips with his.

Rey's body was so hot and fragile in his arms that Ben was ready to cum right here right now.

"You and your fucking skirt, Niima," he growled. "Are you trying to kill me?!"

"Who? Me?" Rey bit her lip, looking up at him.

_Little cocktease!_

Ben ate Rey out right in his office.

"I'll pick you up at seven?" he smirked, watching Rey leave on wobbly legs.

"Wh.. What?" she turned to him, not really understanding what Ben was talking about.

"Dinner?" He reminded her.

"You are the devil!" Rey growled. "But yes, pick me up, and I'll let you feed me."

"I love you..."

They had dinners every day together. Sometimes, they cooked in Ben's apartment, and sometimes Ben took Rey out. She loved food indeed.

Ben realized quickly that Rey enjoyed almost every kind of food. She never ate enough when she was a kid, and even after Unkar, she tried to eat as much as she could every time she got the chance... Ben loved feeding her. If they cooked at home, Rey always stayed with Ben. They slept together, dreaming about each other, and Ben had never felt better.

One morning, two months after Ben was released from the rehab, Rey exited the bathroom, wearing one of Ben's T-shirts and the leggings she had in his apartment. She looked so beautiful after the shower. 

Sometimes Rey was shy changing in front of him. She said that she had small tits, and tried to hide them, but Ben stopped her, kissing her passionately. He loved her tits...

Rey's body had its flaws, but they were all perfect in Ben's eyes. No one was perfect, but Ben loved Rey with all his heart. 

This morning, Rey looked radiant. Ben put her plate in front of her, but for some reason, Rey hesitated.

"Ben?" she called to him.

"Hm?" he turned to her, smiling.

"I love you..."

Her confession made Ben hold his breath.

"Rey..."

"I love you so much," tears were rolling down her face now, and Ben rushed to her to hold her closer. "I... You make me so happy..."

He kissed her tenderly, trying to send all the love he felt towards her through their bond.

"I love you too, sweetheart," he whispered. "Always."

"Ben?" Rey asked again when he finally pulled back. "I want you... Please... Take me..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! :)


	8. We are both here. Nothing else matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I have to let these two go... I am not sad because they are going to be happy! And I am happy because I could witness them finding each other.
> 
> This fic started as a prompt that I saw in my dream, and I hope that my dream prompter is happy now! :)
> 
> And I am happy because I have all of you!
> 
> Thank you so much for your sweet comments and kudos! I loved every single one of them!
> 
> And thank you, [fettuccine_alfreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/works)! I can't thank you enough!
> 
> Enjoy the final chapter, folks!

** **

**Chapter 8.**

**We are both here. Nothing else matters.**

Ben didn't ask Rey if she was sure. It would be stupid, really. Rey knew she didn't have to, but she'd asked him, and that meant that she was ready.

Ben lifted Rey from the floor, kissing her, drowning in this kiss. She was so light, and he was so much larger than her...

"Be..."

"Shh..."

He knew what Rey was about to say.

_"Be gentle with me..."_

As if he wouldn't...

"I've got you, sweetheart."

She had asked him once to teach her what to do in bed, and Ben was about to do just that.

Ben loved their bed. Rey had chosen the perfect one. It was warm, soft, and so comfortable, and so damn enormous! Rey looked so small and fragile when he put her in the center of it. 

Ben was always hard when Rey was around. Truth be told, he should give himself a medal for his restraint. He craved Rey every time she walked into the room. This time, however, he was close to exploding. He knew that once he entered her, he wouldn't be able to hold on for too long.

The thought of her wet cunt embracing his cock made Ben shiver. She would be so tight there! 

Ben growled.

"What is it?" Rey asked, concerned, and he remembered himself.

She was nervous and a little bit afraid. Ben had to hold himself together, for fuck's sake!

However, Rey was also excited, and that aroused Ben even more. He knew that she'd never wanted anyone but him. He would be her first and her last man, and he would make her cry out his name when she came!

"Everything's perfect, kitten," he purred, kissing her face and then her neck. "You are just so fucking delicious."

Rey arched her back, and Ben's hand slipped under her leggings. It wasn't too long until he cupped her drenched cunt.

Rey gasped at the feeling.

"So wet for me already, kitten," Ben licked her jawline. "I was waiting for it for so fucking long."

He could feel Rey's excitement spiking at the words, and she rubbed over his palm. Ben's eyes rolled into his skull at that.

"Naughty..." he whispered hoarsely. "So fucking naughty. Wait, kitten, we need to prepare you first..."

Rey was watching him, her mouth agape as Ben pulled his hand out of her panties and pulled her leggings off her. Rey's t-shirt followed. She hadn't bothered wearing a bra this morning and was now lying in front of him in only her panties. 

Ben got rid of his clothes too. Rey gasped at the sight of his cock. He was so fucking aroused that he almost came undone at the feeling of her growing need that echoed in him too.

"Eager, are we?" he smirked, raising a brow at her.

"Please..." Rey whispered, raising slightly.

"You need to be patient, baby," Ben pushed her back onto the bed. "I can't hurt you, sweetheart."

He sucked on her nipples, grabbing Rey by the waist. Ben had learned what Rey liked. She loved it when he was slightly rough with her. Every time Ben ate her out, he grabbed her by the waist or by the hips, and he could feel Rey getting wetter. She also loved it when he pulled her hair when she was giving him head, or when he grabbed her by the neck. The thought of what they could do together when she finally got used to him drove Ben insane.

He was licking Rey's pearl, sucking it into his mouth, biting it before pushing harder into it with his tongue. Rey wriggled under him, but Ben held her tight.

He could feel her climax starting to build.

"Ben... Ben! BEN!!!" she cried, and Ben could feel that she was on edge. 

Never wanting to miss anything, he inserted one finger into Rey's tight pussy to feel it spasming around it.

_Oh, for fuck's sake!!!_

It was too tight, even for just one finger.

Rey was panting heavily, coming back to her senses after her orgasm. Ben caressed her cheek, kissing her softly. He could feel her satisfaction, but she was still willing for more.

It was time.

Ben bent Rey's knees, watching her eyes opening wider as she looked at him. He could feel her heart beating in her chest. His girl was equally scared and willing to proceed.

"We'll go slowly, sweetheart," he whispered, placing himself on top of her.

Rey bit her lip and closed her eyes.

"No kitten," Ben whispered, biting on Rey's jawline. "I want you to look at me..."

Rey's eyes opened in a flash, and she held her breath. Ben was between her legs now. He started to move.

There was fucking nothing that could describe what Ben felt. NOTHING in this entire universe could compete with the tight wetness of Rey's cunt. She was drenched, but he still had problems moving forward.

"God, I'm so tight!" Rey moaned, feeling what Ben felt, and he was ready to come right here right now.

"My good girl," he whispered. "I'll make you so full of me... God, REY!"

Ben had to stop. He had barely entered her. Only the head of his cock was inside, but he was already about to climax.

Ben took a deep breath.

He started to move again.

He had imagined a million times how tight and small Rey was there, but he wasn't prepared for _this_!

"I won't be able to last long," he whispered hoarsely.

Rey only moaned again. She was consumed by everything that was happening with her now, and Ben couldn't blame his girl. This was all too fucking overwhelming!

Finally, Ben reached the border. Rey was looking at him now, her eyes opened wide.

"Kitten... Concentrate on what I feel now," he whispered.

Rey nodded.

And then, Ben thrust into her with one harsh movement, breaking Rey's hymen.

She shrieked as Ben was balls deep in her now. He couldn't believe that he had managed to fit inside at all.

He could feel her pain, but he could also feel her pleasure. The soulmate bond was a great thing. While Rey was able to concentrate on Ben's feelings, he could do the opposite, taking in her pain. After giving Rey some time to adjust, he started to move again, feeling her pain easing gradually.

She was still too far away from her orgasm, but Ben couldn't hold on any longer.

"Baby..."

"Ben, come for me..."

The soulmate bond was a great thing indeed.

Ben growled, thrusting harder into her, feeling Rey's body arch under him. She wasn't in pain any longer. Maybe just a little bit sore.

"Fuck, I'm so full of you!" she cried out, and Ben lost it.

Ben came so hard that he could see stars in front of his eyes.

"FUCK, BABY!!!!"

He bit her neck, leaving a hickey for sure, spilling himself inside her. She didn't come this time. That wasn't a surprise as it was her first time, and Ben was... huge for her... However, he still felt frustrated.

"I know what you're thinking," Rey smirked in his arms several minutes after Ben climaxed and they both came back to their senses.

"Hm?" it was still hard for him to talk.

"You think that you are the luckiest man alive."

Ben finally raised on his elbows and kissed Rey softly.

"I am thinking about how I will make you come on my cock again and again next time..."

"Oh, will you?" Rey bit her lip.

"Does it hurt a lot?"

"You know how I feel..."

Ben listened to their bond. Rey wasn't that hurt, but she was sore...

"What did you expect?" she raised her brow. "Did you see this thing between your legs? It's as big as an elephant's trunk!"

Ben couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Hey," Rey whispered, softer this time. "You made me come hard with this glorious tongue of yours... I just need to get used to you..."

"Of course," he fucking loved her.

Rey was on the pill, but if Ben was completely honest with himself, he wished she wasn’t... He made a bath, and they got into it, grateful for the comfortable warmth of the water. Rey needed it for her soreness. She was leaning on his chest in the tub, and Ben was caressing her stomach when he finally decided that it was time to ask her.

"Will you move in with me?"

Rey looked over her shoulder, smiling.

"I'm already practically living with you," she laughed. "So why not?"

Ben only hugged her tighter. This night they both slept perfectly, dreaming of each other.

***

**Six months later.**

"I am going to Paris, and you can fire me all you want!" Rey exclaimed, as all the board members turned to her in surprise.

She had practically knocked out the door, bursting into the conference room, and was now panting heavily, looking Leia Organa in the eyes.

The old woman finally remembered herself.

"Rey," she crossed her hands in front of her chest. "I told you, I..."

"He's going to fucking relapse!" Rey shouted, interrupting her. "And I don't fucking care what you think about employee gossip! Ben needs me, and I'm fucking flying to Paris right now!"

**Half an hour ago.**

"Don't you fucking dare, you moron!" Rey hissed into her phone.

"Rey..." Ben's voice on the other side sounded weak.

"Take a sleeping pill and go to sleep NOW!" she interrupted him. "I will take the first plane there is, and I'll be in Paris sooner than you wake up. And I'll meet you in your dream! Don't you dare, Ben!"

"Okay... Okay, sweetheart..."

"Just take the fucking pill!" Rey hung up.

Their relationship was something close to perfect. Ben was learning to live a normal life. They were discovering new things they liked to do together. They even started jogging and visiting theaters from time to time. Rey was happy, and so was Ben.

They fought sometimes, but it was nothing too drastic. Both Rey and Ben had discovered pretty soon that the soulmate bond was a thing that didn't allow them to get bored together or stay mad at each other for too long. Their mutual craving didn't allow them to do that... Rey had never been a person with too many friends. She went out with Rose now, and sometimes Finn and Ben joined them for their usual Monday nights out.

But, truth be told, Rey never needed anyone but Ben.

However, there was one thing that raised both Ben's and Rey's concerns.

Because Ben had neglected his bond for so long, and because he had almost destroyed it, their connection was much more intense than the average connection between two soulmates. They couldn't feel the difference while they were together, but their doctor told them that if they spent time far away from each other, the consequences would be unpredictable...

And of course, Leia had to send Ben to Paris for a fucking month!

The woman had been pissed off by something she'd heard in the coffee room when two employees were talking about Rey and Ben... They accused Leia of nepotism and Leia wouldn’t have it.

Yes, nepotism never bothered Mrs. Organa-Solo... until she heard employees accusing her of it...

And just like that, she'd decided to send Ben to Paris for a month and to leave Rey at home...

Now, Rey was ready to tear the woman's throat apart.

She could feel Ben's emotions. She could feel that he'd been feeling lost for days. Their shared dreams helped, but not for long... Ben felt desperate... He wanted to drink... The addiction always needed to be monitored... And now Ben was alone and there was no one to help him control it.

Rey was going to Paris.

No matter what.

**Now.**

By Leia's side, Luke smirked.

"Language, girl!" Leia rubbed her temples. "Don't give me a headache..."

"I..."

Leia raised her hand in a stopping gesture, and Rey shut up, panting heavily. 

"I think we need a Junior Engineer to help Ben work on this project in Paris," Leia sighed and then looked at Rey. "You have already bought the tickets, haven't you?"

Rey nodded.

"I'll change them to business class," Leia waved her off. "Go away and let us finish our meeting! You are dismissed."

The last thing Rey saw were the smirks on Poe's and Armie's faces.

_"Well done, girl,"_ the redhead mouthed.

Ben opened the door of his Paris apartment, looking like shit.

Rey jumped into his arms, feeling him pulling her closer and inhaling the scent of her hair.

"Rey..." his voice was weak and quiet.

"You are a giant moron," she whispered, tears rolling down her face.

Ben ran his hand through his hair when they finally pulled back.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he murmured, and Rey's heart shattered to pieces.

She felt him. Ben felt unworthy because he had almost relapsed. He thought it was his fault.

"Hey, big guy," Rey whispered, standing on her tiptoes. "Our bond is still a bit sick... We need to heal it... And I won't leave your side anymore..."

"But..."

"Shut up!" Ben seemed terrifying to other people sometimes, but with Rey, he always did as he was told... So this time he shut up. "I don't feel well without you too, you know it..."

It was true. Rey's condition was not as complicated as Ben's, but she still felt moody and annoyed all the time. It felt like an endless PMS, and she hated it.

Ben hugged her tighter, and everything started to fall back into place...

They didn't have sex that night, but they didn't sleep either. Ben didn't avert his eyes from Rey, looking at her as they were lying on the bed in the darkness of the room and caressing her cheek.

She finally felt good... Full... Happy.

Ben took the following day off, and Rey stayed at home too. Together, they explored the sights of Paris, and Rey ate so many baguettes that her stomach started to hurt eventually, much to Ben’s amusement. 

In the evening, they decided to start avoiding crowded places and entered a small public garden not far from their apartment building. It was a very dark evening, and Rey squeezed Ben's arm tighter as they walked down the narrow alley.

Suddenly Ben stopped. Rey looked at him inquiringly, feeling anxiety rising in his chest through the bond for some reason.

"Ben?" she started, but he stopped her, literally shutting her mouth with his hand.

"Wait," he murmured hoarsely.

Rey bit him, making Ben take his hand away, and he smirked at that. However, she kept quiet.

"Just... Don't fucking interrupt me this time, kitten," he growled, running his hand through his hair.

Rey almost laughed at that. She did it often, and that drove Ben crazy. This time she finally did as she was told...

"Rey," Ben started, and suddenly she realized what it was all about... Her heart skipped a beat. "I... I wanted to do it several weeks ago, but my mom has the worst timing ever... I..." he took a deep breath. "I don't know what to say to make it sound less cliche..."

Rey felt tears starting to burn her eyes.

"I love you... I can't fucking live without you... I practically didn't live before you came into my life, and every day I'm afraid to wake up and not find you. I am grumpy, and you honestly deserve better even if they say that soulmates are meant to be... You know that our life won't always be easy, but I will try to make it easier for you every fucking day... And you won't find a man who loves you more or who will treat you better than me. Rey..." Ben kneeled in front of her, and Rey couldn't help but gasp and close her mouth with her hand. "Will you be my wife?"

Rey was sobbing loudly now, and she knew that through their bond, Ben already knew her answer. However, he remained on his knees in front of her, waiting for it.

"That..." she sobbed. "That was a lot of "fuckings"," she laughed through her tears, and Ben rolled his eyes.

"You couldn't just answer, could you?" he smirked, tears falling from his eyes too.

"Of course, I will marry you, you moron," Rey whispered, and Ben stood up from the ground, lifting her into the air.

They were all alone in the park when Ben put a ring he'd been hiding on Rey's finger. It was simple but elegant, and Rey loved it so much!

"I love you, big guy," she whispered, kissing him softly in the twilight of Paris.

"I love you, sweetheart," he answered, kissing her back. "Always, Rey."

They'd been through a lot. But they were both together now. And nothing else mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, as always! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Find me here:
> 
> [P_Dunton's tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/polinaduntonwrites)   
[P_Dunton's Twitter](https://twitter.com/P_DuntonWrites)


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